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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Feeling worn out

17 replies

gingergenius · 12/07/2017 21:15

I'm a single parent of three ranging from 8 to 15. I have no family close by, exh sees them for 1/2 nights once a fortnight. I run a business. I have taken on a second job recently and I feel utterly ground down. Please give me your pearls of wisdom, nuggets of loveliness or anything else you can offer to keep me going? Please?

OP posts:

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Steamgirl · 12/07/2017 22:59

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Steamgirl · 12/07/2017 23:00

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gingergenius · 12/07/2017 23:30

Steamgirlat least i know I'm not alone!!!

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constantlyfuckedoff · 12/07/2017 23:35

Sorry I've no pearls of wisdom, nuggets of loveliness or anything else tbh.

Wine maybe? Failing that tequila may help.

Starlight2345 · 13/07/2017 14:00

At 8-15 give yourself a day off..We call it PJ day...Kids make breakfast lunch, Takeaway tea, watch films , play games like top trumps so you don't need to move off the sofa.

Do kids help at home..At that age they should all be doing something.

MY DS 10 - puts rubbish out, pairs up socks and pants, washes his dish /cup at breakfast, tidies his room ( not to my standard but he does it) , feeds pet....Its not a lot but it all helps..He will cook breakfast sometimes and is starting to cook meal but very baisc level and needs step by step instructions.

gingergenius · 13/07/2017 17:57

They do help and have jobs which they do with varying degrees of success. Eldest is an aspie and has been off sick all week with a virus. I just feel a bit stir crazy I think!!

Wine always helps!!!

OP posts:

Queenofthedrivensnow · 13/07/2017 21:47

Can you ask the ex to have them more?

gingergenius · 13/07/2017 22:49

I have Queen. For many years. I used to beg him to be a bit more flexible so he could have them after choir once a week and collect from school on their fortnightly weekends but he refused to speak to his hr department and now it wouldn't work because the kids are so familiar with the arrangements and would be resistant to more contact! I'm just having a whinge!!! They're great kids and I like be them dearly- it's just a bit of a grind sometimes isn't it?

OP posts:

Queenofthedrivensnow · 13/07/2017 23:16

What a knob I have similar issues.

gingergenius · 14/07/2017 07:53

Sucks, doesn't it?! Excuse typos was tired lol! Feeling a bit brighter today. Eldest ds15 back to school after 4 days off with a virus today so even though I have to work I'm feeling a bit less 'caged in' x

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pinkpixie83 · 14/07/2017 08:01

It's relentless isn't it. I am a single mum of three as well between 5 and 9!
Mine are cutting down time with their dad as they don't feel loved or accepted now he has moved in with his girlfriend.
It's bloody knackering and lonely.
I keep telling myself it will get easier

gingergenius · 14/07/2017 10:57

It does in a way, I think it's just that end of term thing when everything seems so much work! Is it too early for wine?

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Squeegle · 15/07/2017 13:47

It is hard I think; I'm feeling the same today. Mine are 13 and 15, one with ADHD and one with extreme shyness. They don't get on which makes it even harder and XP is very flaky. I feel so ground down- need something to look forward to. I try to get the pleasure out of small things -however am becoming more and more isolated as I don't have the energy to organise meeting up with others. I don't have parties here or anything. Am wondering it this is normal for lone parents or am I just super isolated, in the outside of everything. I just feel so tired after a week of work!

gingergenius · 15/07/2017 21:14

@Squeegle you have my sympathies. It's not easy is it? (((Hugs)))

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NameWithChange · 15/07/2017 21:40

I feel your pain. I am also becoming more and more removed from 'friends' as I'm either too tired or no child free time I could see them anyway. It is a shit slog. School holidays fill me with the worst dread too, I still have to work! Childcare options crap and expensive. Slog, slog, slog...

One nugget is that I found Mindfulness really helped to keep my anxiety down and help me cope - shit thing is I never find time to do it !!

Squeegle · 16/07/2017 08:22

Than you gingergenius, haven't been able to offer pearls of wisdom- but appreciate your thoughts. I think it is a case of looking after ourselves as best we can, I'd quite like to try mindfulness. Did you go to a class Namewithchange?

NameWithChange · 16/07/2017 11:12

I was lucky and found a class locally that was run by someone nearing the end of her studies and cheap. It also worked better for me to commit to a day and time for 8 weeks (very lucky it was on my one day for cleaning at home when I don't work!)

There are lots of books and apps you can try but for me having someone make me do it was the best. Something else always seems more important to get done in real life but I know that needs to change and I need to make some 'me' time.

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