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I hate my ex

(4 Posts)
Janeismymiddlename Sat 08-Jul-17 10:26:40

I am many years divorced. I generally manage my ex's crap well and don't react. But hell, he got me today. I am shaking. Clothing has been his only method of control over me (he pays no maintenance but I manage without it and that pisses him off). He refuses to send back clothes I have bought and instead replaces with old stuff that he has been using or stuff he has picked up at car boots. I spend a small fortune on clothes I never see again. Frequently, the children are sent to me in stuff which is too small. So today I sent them back in his old tat and he made a huge point of telling them how awful they look so I said you were happy to send them back to me in the same stuff last week. So then he accused me of sending them in stuff that doesn't fit so made it clear that isn't the case but that I can't go on buying stuff I never see again....so he told me to grow up and stop shouting (which I was by this point) so shouted perhaps if he actually grew up, stop being a deadbeat and paid some maintenance things would be a lot better for all of us. Then yelled 'you fucking twat' as I slammed the door.

And of course now I feel like shit and guilty and have had a little cry. I spent £350 on a school trip this week for the eldest and he didn't give him so much as a pound in spending money.

Sorry. Just need to get it all off my chest.

Starlight2345 Sat 08-Jul-17 10:54:14

Absolutely you need to send back in whatever he sends DC in.. This is the only way forward in this situation...

Unfortunately the children are in the middle of this. But you cannot afford a new outfit once a week to not be returned.

Give it a month.Tell him that you expect the outfit they are sent in returned otherwise you will never send them in anything but the clothes he returns..

How old are the children? Are they old enough to pack the dirty clothes to bring home again..Again difficult putting them in the middle .I can only assume he is selling there good stuff

Janeismymiddlename Sat 08-Jul-17 10:56:50

I have tried everything. He stops them packing my clothes. I don't think he sells - it is all supermarket and primark. They say the cupboards are full at his house. It is deliberate. Only control he has.

Starlight2345 Sat 08-Jul-17 11:45:59

Then you can send them back in what he sends.. That is your only option.Just ignore his comments..If this is about control, don't let him know it is bothering you.

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