Background: Ex comes round to see 6 month old and I go out. It's the best way for us to handle access, or so I thought, as it limits the amount of time we have to spend face to face. This usually happens once or twice a week, sometimes he cancels at the last minute. There's no fixed time because he refuses to pre-plan, which is annoying as anything.
Current situation: When I came back home at the end of this week's visit, the ex called me a bitch completely unprovoked when I tried to talk about making plans for next week. It isn't the first time he's done similar in calling me names around the baby and in my own home.
I asked him to apologise, he wouldn't. He walked out without saying bye to the baby. Messaged his mum to try and see if she could talk some sense into him (futile I know) and I said maybe we would have to make an arrangement whereby she comes to the flat to cover the handover. She said she wouldn't be getting involved, despite her having that kind of arrangement with his other ex and their child. Perhaps because they already have a strong bond with that kid?
What do I actually do? I'd love not to worry about this and let him sort out contact via a court or whatever, but that makes me anxious because I just wanted us to be amicable for the little one and not have to involve the legal system, which just sounds messy and could cause a lot of bitterness.
Also I just want to do right by my child and never wanted to deny that relationship with his dad, but part of looking out for him has to include looking after myself.
We used to have an agreement between ourselves for child maintenance but I guess if we don't talk I'll have to sort that out, out of principle more than anything else. Are CMS/CSA any good at actually making people pay?
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Doing right by the child but staying sane?
7 replies
writermama00 · 05/07/2017 00:25
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