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Heartbroken again 😥

(4 Posts)
user1498579797 Wed 28-Jun-17 06:39:00

So here's my little story. My ex husband had an affair with a 19 year old girl when I was pregnant with our 3rd baby. He moved out eventually to be with her when the baby was 3 weeks old, the other two children were 4 and 3 at time. Life was hell.

2 years later I met a wonderful man, we get along so well and he made me feel so loved every single day. I was happy again. I love him too with all my heart. He has helped me through my divorce and has always been there for me.

He has always been honest about how how he struggles at times with my problems with my crazy ex husband (24 court battles) and how I raise my children, but he still tried so hard to become involved with my life and my young children. Every time he would tell me he wants to keep trying because he doesn't want to be without me.

I never asked him to become a stepdad figure, the children has a dad. Also my boyfriend is always working aboard and I only have the kids half the time so they don't really see each other that often.

We have now been together for over 2 years and unfortunately reality hits again. He isn't sure about being a "step dad" to my children again. His own children are all grown up and moved out and he is at a stage in his life where he has no responsibilities. My youngest is still only 4 years old.

He loves me so dearly and he is sad that he can't give me what I want and what my children deserve. We tried to break up but its so difficult as we are so in love with each other. We want to try but we don't know how.

Yesterday, I ended the relationship with him. I just hate to see that the man I love struggles to be part of my life just because he loves me. I figured that the only way to love him now is to let him go.

I've posted my story in a Facebook group but many people are very cynical about "this type of man". Some thinks he has been playing me from the start and that if he really loves me he should accept my children and be a step dad no matter what. They think he should not have waited 2 years to tell me that. I want to say I don't agree with them. I accept that he hesitated at first, but he tried and tried and it just didn't work out for us.

I am so heartbroken and it's killing me inside. 💔

Queenofthedrivensnow Wed 28-Jun-17 20:23:00

Inclined to agree with the Facebook posters I'm afraid. Not sure he played you but I'm not sure what he's asking of you - to give up your kids?? He knew your situation so it's confusing he pursued a relationship with you anyway.

MyPanacea Thu 29-Jun-17 04:41:31

It may have been that he was strictly working on "vibes". The two of you had/have soemthing very special between the two of you. I used to go strictly based on feelings as well, that love would conquer all, but I now know, learning the jard way of course, that you have to play it safer and smarter with your heart. As incredible as the chemistry was, your beau denied some very basic needs of his, looking instead theoufh rose coloured glasses.
Take it with a grain of salt

ShowMePotatoSalad Sun 02-Jul-17 09:24:54

To be honest, I can see why he is struggling and wants to be cautious. I don't think he's "played" you at all - he's been honest and admitted that he's finding it too difficult.

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