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It's so hard, such a rollercoaster

(12 Posts)
lolo14 Sat 24-Jun-17 10:25:45


I'm a single parent to a 4 year old. I've been doing this alone since pregnancy.

No input from paternal side whatsoever; financially or otherwise.

I work full time and have done since 2015. I've had periods of feeling down, I live away from my family and , although I have friends locally where I live, I tend not to ask them too much to help out as they're busy too.

I've tried to do the right thing throughout but over the past month or so. This has been instigated by intimate loneliness, work pressures (changing job to try and boost my income), a business i started and am now closing and a general feeing of hopelessness. I was put on 20mg of fluoxetine beginning of last year and was taking that up until 6 weeks ago. I've had to go back on it.

I'm really down, I'm tired of battling and it feels like there's nothing to look forward to. My child is a happy soul so all good there, I try to conceal my sadness. I spend most of my time outside of work tidying and trying to sort the house, dealing with
Small person and slipping in meal times.

I've started the fluoxetine again but I do feel awful; testy, frustrated, inadequate... the whole shebang

I guess this is just a vent

LittleKiwi Sat 24-Jun-17 10:30:11

It sounds like you're doing an amazing job. If the fluoxetine helps, great.

Do you know many other local single parents? It might help to meet up with other people who are in similar positions for support?

Good luck x

user1487854472 Sat 24-Jun-17 11:18:07

Oh Hun flowers It's bloody hard being a single mum isn't it?! I'm a year in now, DD's dad showed his true colours and left when she was just a few weeks old. It's so rewarding being a single parent, but oh so hard. Not many people understand. Where abouts are you? I'm constantly looking for single Mum friends lol xx

lolo14 Sat 24-Jun-17 11:57:33

Thanks ladies, it is really hard isn't it. I'm in the north west of England . It's just the frustration of, no matter what I do, it's still battling uphill. The fluoxetine helps I think but it'd be great to feel ok off that. Sadly I don't. All my friends up here have partners , I'm pretty social really but it affects me seeing couples together. Doesn't mean to say their lives are picnics does it. I'm just exhausted, there's no let up sad user sure smile let's stay in touch x

Nevie Sat 24-Jun-17 16:46:48

Take it one day at a time.You sound like you are doing a great job. Am also from the north west and looking for single parent friends in same boat!

lippy72 Sat 24-Jun-17 18:48:29

Hi I'm a new lone parent and like you sometimes it feels like a massive wheel I just go round and round I think what we all need to remind ourselves of is how much we manage to achieve I mean we do the work of two people and we are still here !!! Our kids are happy kids we provide a home and love and to me that is a huge achievement ! But yes some days are harder than others so keep going and try and make some time for you even if it is a bath when the house is quiet you deserve it ...

memyselfandisolodjsjajaj Sat 24-Jun-17 18:58:40

@lolo14 Hey!!! This is not a pity party!!! You are doing AMAZING!!! Working full time and taking care of a 4 year old, all by yourself? And keeping a household?
OP, you're bloody strong & fabulous! I raise a wine to you! You made it so far, and this is not easy. Please hold your chin up!

lolo14 Wed 28-Jun-17 21:24:23

What lovely responses from you all smile it's comforting to read that we are all experiencing the same thing at times. Roller coaster is the perfect analogy! Ups and downs are bonkers but we are still here and our kids are flourishing. I think I've had the darkest time recently since I was pregnant. The back story to the paternal side is insane but four years on and it's going ok in reality. I think sometimes it's hard to see that confused

MumazAZ09 Wed 28-Jun-17 21:31:07

Your child sounds lovely so I'm sure you're doing a great job! And you should never feel bad about venting. The hardest part for me is not having anyone in real life to vent to.

TheABC Wed 28-Jun-17 21:42:38

I (mentally) take my hat off to you in admiration, OP. What you are doing is bloody hard and to do it day in and day out, without respite is heroic. I take care of two kids, but I am part of a couple, so we can tag team. Without DH, I would definitely be in a worse shape than yourself.

No idea about your family or finances, but hopefully with your little one getting older, your finances will take less of a battering on childcare and it may be feasible to arrange an overnight stay with grandparents, whilst you go to a spa or similar.

lolo14 Wed 28-Jun-17 22:12:22

Thanks for your responses themumaz and theABC. It's easier to vent sometimes in a forum such as this I find. Big hugs! My mum
Is brilliant and is moving to be nearer us in a couple of months so life will transform then. My smoky are wonderful and I'm grateful for that.

I spend most of my life whizzing round in a daze and so it's actually pretty good I can't dwell too much! Parenting is tough in lots of parallel ways for both couples and single parents. I think I notice the financial burden the most but I'm literally clawing my way up the ladder grin I've learned that I'm the
Only person I can rely on in that way and resting on those laurels isn't an option.

All your responses have been fab and made me feel better, thank you smile

lolo14 Wed 28-Jun-17 22:14:12

My smoky? My family grin

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