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Will I be alone forever??

(7 Posts)
Chocolatteandbiscuits Tue 06-Jun-17 22:18:11

Does anyone else feel like they've been put up on a shelf. I feel like I'm never going to meet anyone. I love my son so much and obviously his happiness comes first but I feel like no one wants me now I'm a mummy. I just want to find someone who I have that amazing connection with. I miss that feeling, it's been so so long.

Stressedfairy84 Wed 07-Jun-17 18:25:37

Hi @choccolateandbiscuits I'm 33 and in a similar predicament. My child's father, our relationship only really started when our son was 4 months, it was a holiday unplanned pregnancy. However we did long distance for 7 months and it was very difficult. He broke off our month long engagement because his family were ashamed we'd had a baby and weren't married, probably also because I'm not Turkish like his family. (By the way, I live in Ireland - moved here when I was 9) I wanted to get him to move to Ireland and see how family life worked out, before rushing into a marriage. His mother convinced him that if I didn't want to marry the year we got engaged 2013 or the next year, then I didn't want to marry him. I was devastated when he finished our relationship. He doesn't send money to help and he might send a text once a month to see how his son is. He's also married now with a 9 month old boy and tells me how hard it is being a parent. (Now that I had to laugh at)

I had a bad experience with a guy nearly 3 years ago and have only been with two guys since then, once in March for two months and one 2 years ago for one month in the September.

I rarely go out anymore, mainly because all my friends are in relationships and have kids of their own. I've very little confidence, hate what I see in the mirror and I'm suffering with anxiety and depression. Also I always tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and let anyone with a slight interest walk/stamp all over it. 😔😔

Because I have depression, I've been told by my counsellor that I shouldn't try get into a relationship, as it won't work out. Does that mean I should be lonely and miserable until I somehow manage to fight the depression? I'm also not working, but hopefully with my son starting primary school in September, I want to look for part time work again.

I also feel like I'll be alone forever and when I'm scrolling through social media sites, it makes me more sad and depressed when I see friends and family planning weddings, holidays etc with their partners and kids.

It feels like, when do I get to do that and love someone again and have someone love me back. I have a lot of empathy for people and try and help as much as I can, but sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough or I don't deserve to be loved.

Have you tried dating sites before? I have, and I've met some nice guys, but also met some/chatted to some creeps so its like a catch 22 situation. Sorry for the rant.

Ditsy1980 Fri 09-Jun-17 22:04:16

Same. DD is 7. Been on my own for 4 years since I left exh, apart from 2 short relationships and a couple of online dates.
However, DD has a number of issues with her Dad and really bad separation anxiety with me which means that she hasn't slept out anywhere for 18months. Even getting a couple of hours during the day to myself at wknds is almost impossible.
So, I think I will be alone forever. DD will probably get over her anxiety and move out but I'll be in my late 40s by then..... joyous thoughts for a Friday night

user1492190246 Fri 09-Jun-17 22:32:28

Me I am 5 years down the line and I feel like it will never happen. It would be nice to feel something again

Smeaton Fri 09-Jun-17 22:34:44

I'm 37 and recently split from DDs mum.
I'm dreading getting back in 'The game' but I don't want to be alone forever. I love being a dad, I love my daughter to the stars but its not the same as having someone to watch OITNB with and having a cuddle. sad

tellybear Fri 09-Jun-17 22:35:53

I have been single for 6 years. I feel quite happy about it.

When I hear about my friends complaining about their partners or having to check with someone else for plans I feel a bit sorry for them. I wasn't in an abusive relationship but it ended badly not what I wanted at the time. But I feel liberated never knowing was constrained to begin with.

PollyPelargonium52 Sat 10-Jun-17 11:19:24

Yes I much prefer the single life. I wouldn't be surprised if I remain single for a good long time it has many many advantages and is rarely understood. I am just amazed more people don't try it!

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