Advanced search

Will I be alone forever??

(7 Posts)
Chocolatteandbiscuits Tue 06-Jun-17 22:18:11

Does anyone else feel like they've been put up on a shelf. I feel like I'm never going to meet anyone. I love my son so much and obviously his happiness comes first but I feel like no one wants me now I'm a mummy. I just want to find someone who I have that amazing connection with. I miss that feeling, it's been so so long.

Stressedfairy84 Wed 07-Jun-17 18:25:37

Hi @choccolateandbiscuits I'm 33 and in a similar predicament. My child's father, our relationship only really started when our son was 4 months, it was a holiday unplanned pregnancy. However we did long distance for 7 months and it was very difficult. He broke off our month long engagement because his family were ashamed we'd had a baby and weren't married, probably also because I'm not Turkish like his family. (By the way, I live in Ireland - moved here when I was 9) I wanted to get him to move to Ireland and see how family life worked out, before rushing into a marriage. His mother convinced him that if I didn't want to marry the year we got engaged 2013 or the next year, then I didn't want to marry him. I was devastated when he finished our relationship. He doesn't send money to help and he might send a text once a month to see how his son is. He's also married now with a 9 month old boy and tells me how hard it is being a parent. (Now that I had to laugh at)

I had a bad experience with a guy nearly 3 years ago and have only been with two guys since then, once in March for two months and one 2 years ago for one month in the September.

I rarely go out anymore, mainly because all my friends are in relationships and have kids of their own. I've very little confidence, hate what I see in the mirror and I'm suffering with anxiety and depression. Also I always tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and let anyone with a slight interest walk/stamp all over it. 😔😔

Because I have depression, I've been told by my counsellor that I shouldn't try get into a relationship, as it won't work out. Does that mean I should be lonely and miserable until I somehow manage to fight the depression? I'm also not working, but hopefully with my son starting primary school in September, I want to look for part time work again.

I also feel like I'll be alone forever and when I'm scrolling through social media sites, it makes me more sad and depressed when I see friends and family planning weddings, holidays etc with their partners and kids.

It feels like, when do I get to do that and love someone again and have someone love me back. I have a lot of empathy for people and try and help as much as I can, but sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough or I don't deserve to be loved.

Have you tried dating sites before? I have, and I've met some nice guys, but also met some/chatted to some creeps so its like a catch 22 situation. Sorry for the rant.

Ditsy1980 Fri 09-Jun-17 22:04:16

Same. DD is 7. Been on my own for 4 years since I left exh, apart from 2 short relationships and a couple of online dates.
However, DD has a number of issues with her Dad and really bad separation anxiety with me which means that she hasn't slept out anywhere for 18months. Even getting a couple of hours during the day to myself at wknds is almost impossible.
So, I think I will be alone forever. DD will probably get over her anxiety and move out but I'll be in my late 40s by then..... joyous thoughts for a Friday night

user1492190246 Fri 09-Jun-17 22:32:28

Me I am 5 years down the line and I feel like it will never happen. It would be nice to feel something again

Smeaton Fri 09-Jun-17 22:34:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tellybear Fri 09-Jun-17 22:35:53

I have been single for 6 years. I feel quite happy about it.

When I hear about my friends complaining about their partners or having to check with someone else for plans I feel a bit sorry for them. I wasn't in an abusive relationship but it ended badly not what I wanted at the time. But I feel liberated never knowing was constrained to begin with.

PollyPelargonium52 Sat 10-Jun-17 11:19:24

Yes I much prefer the single life. I wouldn't be surprised if I remain single for a good long time it has many many advantages and is rarely understood. I am just amazed more people don't try it!

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: