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does anyone else not feel like a "proper family"?

(5 Posts)

GottonamechangeNow17 Tue 23-May-17 21:55:36

Hey! So I've been a single mum since dd was born..dad didn't want anything to do with her; wanted to carry on meeting me for "fun" but not our daughter (absolutely never ever would happen!!!). She's 6 and I can't shake the feeling we aren't a proper family. My parents love her to bits but don't really DO anything with her;mother critises every single thing I do so dd knows she can cry and my mother will shout at me and dd will get her own way... family meals out everyone pretty much ignores dd (and me but I'm used to it after 35 years) so she acts up for attention and then I get yelled at for not disciplining her...which she won't listen to anyway as she knows if I tell her off and she cries Nanan will yell at me and let dd get away with it
Anyway (with a sideline of "you are a terrible mum and ruin everything).

Can't help feel if I had a partner we would all be a family and I'd have some support; i constantly look at photos on Facebook families post and feel so bad we don't have one! It's just dd and i;

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cookiefiend Tue 23-May-17 22:07:02

Gosh your parents sound awful. I have nothing useful to say really except I was raised by my mother and she is awesome. I got all her attention and we had a great time and we still get on brilliantly.

You may want a partner to share the burden and that is understandable, but you are no less a family for your daughter. Don't let your mother knock your confidence. I suppose if you had a partner you could roll your eyes at them and ignore her. Don't go to family meals if they treat you like that.

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PollyPelargonium52 Thu 01-Jun-17 07:22:51

I would hate to be crticised like that personally I would assert myself and keep contact to an absolute minimum if she is going to bring you down like that.

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CrazedZombie Thu 01-Jun-17 07:30:37

It sounds like you want a normal family so much that you're accepting your mother's awful behaviour. Are you sure it's worth the price? (Your daughter)

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PollyPelargonium52 Thu 01-Jun-17 10:22:12

It also sounds very mysogynistic and out of date.