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He left, it's just me and my little girl

(8 Posts)
LexiiLouu12 Mon 22-May-17 20:13:39

I live in the north west. My ex left me and our daughter and moved to the midlands. He's stopped paying for her as he's out of work. I moved in with my mum after the split and due to paying £800 a month childcare I can't afford to move out. I work 39+ hours a week and I'm struggling to cope. My house is a mess (clean, but a mess) I can't keep on top of my ironing and when she does go to her dads & his new girlfriend (I'll never stop that) I can't afford to go out. I feel so bitterly broken and like there's no way out. I'm not entitled to much in the way of benefits because of the amount I earn. All of our friends seem to have sided with him as he can still go out with them etc. I don't have the energy to tell my side.
I was a young, ambitious woman and now I just want to curl up and forget it all. Has anyone been here?

spaceyface89 Mon 22-May-17 20:53:43

Hi Lexi,
I'm where you are now more or less. Paying for everything, receiving minimal financial contributions, huge increase in living costs now we're on our own, whilst ex lives in shared house with mates. I'm also in the north west. DM if you want to chat more.

LexiiLouu12 Mon 22-May-17 21:09:08

Thankyou, I've sent you a message star

Lottie991 Mon 22-May-17 21:18:00

I was there although I couldn't move back to parents and had two small DC I couldn't work as I couldn't afford childcare for my toddler and baby and had no family help.
My ex moved away and didn't bother with my kids no contact and no money. I was on my own completely as I had no support.

I met someone got a job and we moved into a lovely little house together, We got married and had two more kids together, Things can change and things do change, You will get out of this blip and you will feel better.
Life has its ups and downs, You will come back up again and you will be just fine. smile

LexiiLouu12 Mon 22-May-17 21:33:18

Hi Lottie. Thankyou for taking the time to reply to me. It means a lot to know of somebody who made it out the other side. I feel used and broken. It's encouraging to see that that isn't always the case. Thankyou so much xx

Lottie991 Mon 22-May-17 22:25:17

Of course you do, People aren't being there for you like they should be, They are just fair weather friends Lexi, Forget about them and concentrate on building yourself up.
I can really relate to not having the energy to get people on side by explaining your side, I was the same, I had a very mentally abusive ex who would blame me for everything, I didn't have the energy to fight so I just kept quiet hoping it would stop, Unfortunately my Dad died also around this time so I was a wreck, This whole experience will make you so strong like you wouldn't believe.
These emotions you have are normal and they honestly won't last forever.
If you ever want to private message because you are feeling low go ahead.
I honestly wish I had reached out for support the way you have only I was putting such a brave face on things too proud to tell people how I truely felt.
Inside I was broken.
The only way is up. Like I said you will get there.
You have already made a step reaching out xx

SuperSheepdog Mon 22-May-17 22:29:10

Hi. Sorry to hear that. I've been like you too. It's crap. I was made redundant from my better paid job too and now about to start working for minimum wage (hopefully). Whilst ex does what he likes....I'm still bitter at times. I've had two people this week tell me I smile a lot and am a happy and friendly person so hopefully my depression doesn't show too much. I think time heals too. I'm still alone four years on though. Hang in there, it does improve flowers

periwinkleshell Wed 24-May-17 21:24:46

Hello! I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone - I feel the same. My ex is living in my house, going out, not giving us a penny, cancelling seeing his children, and Im working as soon as my children are asleep, paying rent, childcare, trying to make ends meet, and I'm utterly crippled financially. I don't even have time to work out how I am feeling emotionally. Its shit. Feel free to chat anytime.

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