I am a woman who has been through DV, the violence started when I got pregnant. Ex was obsessed with my body image at a tiny size 4, he demanded I have an abortion to which I refused given that we were married for two years . I went on to have the baby and he made it clear that that I’ll be solely responsible for the child’s physical and emotional and financial needs. I was young at the time and accepted this, when I fell pregnant the second time he beat the pregnancy out of me; I lost the baby.. By this time I was suffering from depression and seeked help in the form of therapy. A year later I fell pregnant again and this time The beating sent me into preterm labour at 26 weeks gestation, I still went back to him after he begged for forgiveness. I eventually left him for good when the second child was 3 months old, by this time I was a size 8 and was getting called fat everyday. I finally plucked up the courage to report incidents to police when he started threatNing me for leaving him. I became children’s primary carer for the past three years but allowed him to have children for weekends and holidays.
A year ago he had asked my permission to receive benefits in the name of one of the children for housing benefit purpose as he couldn’t afford his rent, I felt sorry for him but my family warned me not to trust him so I refused. After this I received several calls from police and social services about alleged numerous abuses towards children made by my ex and non was followed through. He was building a case against me by using my depression.
Four months ago after taking the children for the weekend he refused to bring them back at the agreed time, he text to say “see you in court” after I called to ask why he was taking long to bring them back. At the first court hearing he made so much allegations that the judge asked me to prove my mental health and other issues whilst banning me any contact, second hearing judge didn’t read any of our statements, ex didn’t have evidence but I had over 50 of them but I was self representing myself and his barrister got more chances to talk. He had claimed children were scared of me and not wanting to talk or see me, judge took their every word for gospel and ordered supervised visits. His solicitor dragged her feet to issue the order judge ask them to write up and ended up waiting a month until next hearing when another judge ordered supervised visits again and it took two months from previous hearing before I finally got contact.
Supervised visits went great as his claims were refuted, now Cafcass have written a section 7 report that only put forwards his lies as factual evidence without any documents of prove, I presented Cafcass with evidence put she warned me to stop sending her emails as it wouldnt be fair on the other party😦Then she told me anything I showed her as evidence she would not put in her report😔acknowledged him to be a high risk dv perpetrator, recommends he takes a course to reflect on his behaviour but also recommends that children stay with him as they have been through a lot and any change could affect their education and emotional wellbeing😭 and oh oldest child at 7 expressed in her wishes and feelings interview that she wants to be back with me❤️youngest is only 3 so she was not interviewed, but she disregarded the oldest child's wishes saying she was confused😞 She didn't do any investigations on my side in regards to the children's school they were attending whilst in my care🙄Now final hearing to take place next week.
My ex has used the courts to get these results and courts allowed him to continue the abuse, so for all you guys blaming women and saying court treats women claiming false dv highly. WRONG…
The family court can be biased on both sides. I could go on and on about the amount of fatual errors in her report🙅🏾 more than 20 errors😢 I I can’t think why they acknowledge his violence and abuse but yet favoured him.
1: is it because I was self represented?
2: is it because am black and he’s white (hate to use the race card) but I'd imagine had he been black this wouldn’t have turn out this way. The report
The only reason why they were forced to acknowledge his abuse was because there were mountains of evidences I presented but even that was not enough to stop the abuse that is still taking place in the courts.
PS: I am so confused with the family court system, please help me understand…!
I worked all the hours I can whilst kids are away ( I am also due to have another baby in a few weeks whilst going through all this stress) and now I have a representative... Thank God🙏🏾
I'll keep you posted on the outcome...
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Cafcass lies, courts are biased towards women who have genuine domestic violence cases
6 replies
ishapp1 · 19/05/2017 20:46
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