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Wanting to leave him. Where do i start?

(2 Posts)
NoNamesLeft86 Mon 15-May-17 13:10:50

Living with my partner and our 4 autistic children. And pets (animals are mine not his so would stay with me). House is his. Car is his. All our belongings have been paid for by him.
I dont work, he is on around 70k a year. So he pays for everything and we get no benefits or child benefit or anything like that.

So i would be totally starting from scratch. He doesnt want to split up and has made it clear he would make it as difficult as possible for me. Which is whats kept me here for the past few years.
I feel so trapped.

From what ive seen online i can privately rent but would only be entitled to a 3 bedroom properly. So 2 kids in each room and a room for me. With the kids being autistic this would be very hard for them so I'm worried i am going to distroy their little worlds. One of the children is "severely mentally impaired" and 100% couldnt share with a sibling. So i could possibly share with him? Or is there any flexibility in this?

3 of the children have sleep issues. One having a diagnosed sleep disorder with medication. Again making sharing rooms difficult.

With claiming housing benefit. Where do I start? Do i have to find a house first and then claim? Or can I claim and then find a house? Im so confused.

Ive seen a 3 bedroom house that will accept DSS and Pets. But no idea if the Housing benefit would cover it.

I would be grateful of any advice.

caballero Mon 15-May-17 18:19:52

Do you not claim DLA for any of your DC? It's not means tested and your DC would be very likely to qualify as they are autistic. Getting DLA would increase your benefit allowances/tax credits so it's a good idea to start a claim soon (it takes months to get the forms processed).

For housing benefit you need to find a house first. For private rental you'd need a deposit and probably pass a credit check. Would that be possible? Do you have some savings and can you squirrel away any money?

You can start claiming child benefit - your DH would have to pay it back (for the period that you're living together) through his tax return as he's over the threshold. But it could help provide some income for you to put away and it would mean you won't have a delay waiting for payments once you've left him.

I don't think the council would care who is actually sharing bedrooms, they just care about the number of bedrooms and number of adults/children in the family. So it would be fine for you to share with your child. I know in council housing you can sometimes get a separate bedroom for an autistic child, I don't know if the same applies to private rentals. You should be able to find out the amount the council will pay for for housing benefit - LHA rates, just put your postcode in. Usually it's rare to find a decent house that is actually rented at the LHA rate and you'd need to top up the rent.

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