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I Can't keep on going like this

(6 Posts)
lyssie29 Sat 13-May-17 11:33:43

Hi my daughter's dad died in 2016. My daughters are 4 and 19 months. I try to get them out as much as possible and I take them to groups and for wlaks/park etc. My 4 year old though is just constantly wanting me to play with her and keeps going in a strop. Today for example we were all up at 6.30 and it's now 11.30. I've been playing with them all morning quickly doing housework in between. I've say sat down for 5 minutes and she's in my demanding i play with her. What can I do? She's difficult sometimes as she has lots of energy and can get very hyper just like alot of 4 year olds. It's just the strops and constantly wanting me to play. I end up feeling bad for not playing with her but i need to get stuff done. Do i just need to man up and leave her to it?

Heroicallylost Sat 20-May-17 12:46:33

I think so, yes. I'm in a similar situation, husband died a year ago and I have a nearly 4 year old son. I'm finding the more I set out munch boundaries the easier I find it not to get overwhelmed by him.

E.g. I play with him for a bit, but then I'll say to him that I can't play with him now because I need to do X - even if that's sit down with a cuppa! I explain to him that I need a rest/need to tidy up/need to make a meal and he will have to wait.

I imagine with 2 you have a harder job.

I'm going to Widowed & Young's big picnic weekend tomorrow, just joined them and hoping to meet others in a similar situation as it's pretty isolating - very different to having an ex-partner around. Might be worth looking into?

Heroicallylost Sat 20-May-17 12:47:45

'Munch' should have been 'my'!

jeaux90 Sat 20-May-17 14:02:45

I'm a lone parent and my dd is now 8. The 1-1 attention they demand can be draining but yes set some boundaries but also I found a tablet with basic maths etc a good respite at that age grin

lyssie29 Sat 20-May-17 14:44:24

Thanks ladies. I'm going to set some times for myself to get work done and try and play first then work then play. Might put them off a bit.

@Heroicallylost I have also joined WAY not long after he died however I haven't been to any meet ups yet as I don't drive and the meet ups closest to me are unfortunately still to far for me to go. Hopefully one day there'll be one closer.

Starlight2345 Sat 20-May-17 19:40:54

Visual timetables can work well at this age.

Also Sometimes depending on child get them to "help you " can you put the washing in the washing machine..It takes longer but still easier than doing it with Muuuuuuuuuuuuum Muuuuuuuuuuuuum.

Give them a cloth to wipe they love it. Kids brooms. I will cut the potatoes can you put them in the pan , counting games.

I am LP with no dad involved , just because he is a waste of space but have done the juggling thing too.My DS is 10 and really lets me get on with it him because if he doesn't I give him jobs.

I also had a close friend Die who had a DS the same age as my DS when he was 4.. He spent the whole Christmas following me around , sat in the hall if I made a cup of tea followed me to kitchen. Struggled to be apart. After he went back to school he relaxed a lot. I think sometimes the routine was what really helped.

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