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(11 Posts)
Fabulousdahlink Sat 13-May-17 07:43:32

Have five rings given to me over my 20 years of marriage by my current husband who walked out on our family 8 weeks ago to live with his mistress we were unaware of...
I no longer wear any of them because of the affiliation of the giver ( and the subsequent secrets and lies associated with him which have since come to light) None are especially valuable- not vintage or the koh-in- noor in size. Just high street, but once emotionally tainted by the truths revealed.
Hive wisdom needed.
Keep and give to children in bequest
Have them remodelled into something new ( advice required)
Sell? And buy something for myself as a positive act
Sell? And spend money on a weekend away with the kids.
Keep them because I might later regret selling them
Keep them in case I need to pay a bill now he's gone.

Or any other suggestions?

user1487854472 Sat 13-May-17 09:30:38

I've kept everything and put it in a box for my daughter for when she's older. I just think it's a nice keepsake for her, as I doubt her dad will ever be a big part of her life.

Sorry to hear about your recent difficulties flowers

lizzyj4 Sat 13-May-17 11:25:04

I've kept a lot of things 'for the kids' too, although recently I've been thinking that they are not really that interested (I have three adult dc now so it's easier to judge) so I've started to sell/give away/throw things. But I still feel a bit torn about it. The thing is, even if your dc's relationship with their father eventually recovers from this, it will be a new, different relationship, and they might not want a reminder about what was a very difficult time in their lives either.

But ... if they associate the rings with you rather than the relationship, I think they would want them.

Sorry, not much help there!

neonrainbow Sat 13-May-17 11:28:19

They're your rings. Why do you think your dc would want a token from the marriage which had ended courtesy of their dad running off? Not a very happy memory. Id investigate their value as unless they're really special and unique i doubt you'll get enough for a holiday. Second hand jewellery is never worth as much as you think.

neonrainbow Sat 13-May-17 11:28:54

I mean they're your rings, so don't feel beholden to giving them to your kids.

Stormsurfer Sat 13-May-17 14:49:40

I sold mine and used the money to pay the divorce costs.

Fabulousdahlink Sat 13-May-17 21:10:49

I doubt my teen and tween would want them-not their taste- and the collection of rings value is small- I'm thinking a night in a premier in and a day at the seaside...

I doubt I will change my mind about them, I won't wear them, I'd rather go naked fingered. Though a pretty sparkly ring would be a positive action for me looking forward and not , it equally remind me of what it had replaced, maybe ? Perhaps something other than a ring ?

Thankyou, user1487854472 for your kind words.

Storm Surfer- I doubt they would even cover the £550 needed to put the divorce petition in. But they might cover fish and chips and icecream !

Stormsurfer Sat 13-May-17 22:24:43

Personally a ring would be too much of a reminder. Maybe wait a wee while longer to decide?

GreenGoblin0 Sun 14-May-17 10:18:25

I think it's too soon to decide. I have my mother's wedding ring which she kept after my parents divorced. I used to wear it until I got pregnant and my fingers got too fat! (and never returned to their normal size afterwards!) I didn't associate it with the negative aspects of my parents relationship

Fabulousdahlink Sun 14-May-17 19:49:04

Ok. So I've already binned the wedding dress ( sent it to Africa via the recycling centre)...I've kept family pics of happier times for the kids memory boxes. I will go with the hive mind of' it's too soon' and ask again in a month!

ImperialBlether Sun 14-May-17 19:53:33

I'd get something different, not a ring, with the money. I wouldn't save them for a child - she won't want to wear it by then anyway. Sell them and buy something nice for yourself.

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