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Long distance contact

(3 Posts)
slattedblind Mon 24-Apr-17 19:55:04

After a hideous abusive relationship which broke up amid turmoil, police and social services involvement, we are 7 months down the line hopefully on the cusp of supervised contact beginning between ex and DC.

Currently we both live in the same town and contact will be initially in a contact centre.

I am fairly well advanced in planning for a move this summer to another town to be close to family for support with DC, better life for them with more space as home town is cheaper (currently we are in a small flat with not enough bedrooms and no garden). Move is also, frankly, to get away from exp and the stress that the proximity brings me. Exp says he has no problem with the move but is raising questions about how contact will work after the move, specifically about money.

He doesn't work, receives ESA. He made a fuss about the cost of supervised contact so I'm ending up paying half for the DC sake, because they want to see him and I want to do what's right for them and their needs.

He smokes, and when we were together used to spend about £70pw on cigs. Don't know if he still does (surely not as he wouldn't be able to afford it presumably but anyway). He has bought a van since we split, so he has transport.

Town we (DC and i) are moving to is 1.5hr drive, or 1hr bus ride + 25mins train away from where he lives.

Since I'm the one moving will I be obliged to contribute to his travel costs, or bring the DC to him some of the time?

I don't know for sure what will happen with contact but the hope is that it can move from contact centre to a community based supported setting. I don't think overnights will be on the cards for some time, possibly not for years, depending on his mental health and housing situation.

What is normal/expected here?

slattedblind Tue 25-Apr-17 09:25:33

Hopeful bump?

Starlight2345 Fri 28-Apr-17 19:38:02

There will be an expectation you should do at least half of the travelling. Is there somewhere slightly closer to new home.

I really wouldn't make many waves at this point if he is happy for the move to happen..Get it in writing if you can.

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