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XH getting a lodger - should I be concerned?

(3 Posts)
sleeplessbunny Sat 22-Apr-17 09:54:59

Since we split 18months ago, our 2 DCs (3 and 5) have been spending roughly 50% of their time with each of us. Generally the arrangement works OK, the kids are happy and so am I. XH has recently informed me of his intention to get a lodger to help pay the mortgage, saying if he doesn't he will have to move away to find cheaper accommodation. I don't really want him to move away as it would make the 50/50 parenting harder and would make things harder for the kids - more travelling making it difficult to attend clubs and see friends. However, I also feel uncomfortable at the thought of DC sharing their home with a stranger. X has been very open about it and has invited me to meet the lodger, who will move in in a week or so, but I would have no idea what to say. I suppose I am concerned that there is a potentially a safeguarding risk as we don't know the lodger's background, and that the DC may not like them. XH has said that the lodger would never be alone with the DC but I'm not sure that is enough? Plus, knowing XH, I expect his boundaries will flex after he gets to know the lodger.
Apparently XH is doing the usual references etc but this does not include a DBS check - I think only employers can do those.

Does anyone have any advice? Should I be concerned, is there anything I can do to protect the DC and are there any recommendations for best practice when you have a lodger with small DC? I expect there are MN users who have lodgers themselves, if you are able to share any advice I'd really appreciate it. :-)

TIA

AnnettePrice Sat 22-Apr-17 11:47:50

this might give you what your needing. Might also help your ex for other issues regarding having a lodger.

lodgersite.com/Can_I_Trust_Them.html

Was also thinking for some people if their kids are going to be going to a house with other adults including new partners it could help ease dome people's worries.

sleeplessbunny Sun 23-Apr-17 07:23:07

Thanks that looks a really helpful site.

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