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ExP ignoring car seat laws

(12 Posts)
FTMum2016 Mon 17-Apr-17 16:27:58

My daughter is nearly 10 months old and goes to her dads for a few hours every weekend, I drop her off with her car seat as she is still in a baby one. He has now said this doesn't fit in his car (his car is a lot bigger than mine, his girlfriend just needs to move her chair forward!) and wants to buy a car seat to stay in his car. I've tried to explain that until she's 15 months she needs to be rear facing and even sent him an article on it but he's still insisting on getting her a forward facing one. This terrines me bwvause I've seen the effects of crashes with forward facing car seats and babies and I know how he drives (even with her in the car) where do I stand because I don't want her travelling in a forward facing car seat until she's big enough.

NapQueen Mon 17-Apr-17 16:32:50

Can you send him some links to crash test dummy videos?

Additionally ask him to call the In Car Safety Centre for advice on which seats best fit his car (they will always advise RFing)

Another option if he uses FB is to recommend the "Car Seat Advice for Mummies and Daddies" page as it has lots of info and is very pre ERFi g

The long and short of it is that when he is in charge he pretty much can choose what he wants to do. And many many people dont realise the benefits of erfing ans think ff seats are a sign of "grown up" kids.

Quartz2208 Mon 17-Apr-17 16:35:35

Why don't you compromise and get one that goes from rear facing to forward facing

FTMum2016 Mon 17-Apr-17 16:37:03

I've told him to buy one that does both but he won't spend the money on her, he just wants whatever is cheap

welshweasel Mon 17-Apr-17 16:37:43

It's a difficult one. He's probably not breaking the law (the new isize rules run in conjunction with the old ones currently) but I'd send him links to videos explaining why rear facing for as long as possible (and at the very least until 2) is really important. The videos are pretty hard hitting so hopefully he'll take notice. Alternatively could you buy a seat such as the joie every stage that's really easy to move between cars and send it with her when she goes to his house?

user1487854472 Mon 17-Apr-17 17:05:58

I know a lot of people think that it's up to the dad to do what he likes, but I simply couldn't send my daughter with him if he couldn't even provide the right car seat. My opinion is that I'd be failing as a mum to send her off to a potential risk.

NapQueen Mon 17-Apr-17 17:50:13

In the eyes of the law he isnt doing anything wrong. Though I am an ERFer and a big advocate of it. In the eyes of the law at 10mo provided she is the right weight she can currently ff.

Starlight2345 Mon 17-Apr-17 21:43:11

Legally he isn't breaking the law as said.

I think you have little chance of doing anything, other than educate him on the safety aspect.

KarmaNoMore Mon 17-Apr-17 21:54:34

Difficult one, not much you can do about it, because even if you get him the right seat there are no guarantees that he will use it.

I have seen a man near my house put the baby carrier (with baby) in the back seat (sideways) and drive away without strapping it to the seat.

My ex and his partner were the same, she almost hit me with the car one day when I asked her to wait until DS had strapped himself. She reversed back at high speed like racers do and went full speed down the road with DS standing on the back seat.

There was nothing that I could do about it unfortunately. Police didn't give a shit nor did the judge.

PastysPrincess Mon 17-Apr-17 22:00:15

Don't like the daily mail but it's the only place I can find this article.
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3608143/Mother-Angela-Brown-urges-parents-use-rearward-facing-child-restraints-crash-left-daughter-horrific-injuries.html

Lovelilies Thu 20-Apr-17 10:25:04

My DD is 10months but she only weighs about 7.5 kg and to go FF they should be 12kg I think?
Have you had her weighed?

Shootingstar2289 Thu 20-Apr-17 19:18:35

If i was in your situation, I wouldn't let her go if I felt like they weren't being safe and ignoring your advice.

I've had a similar problems with my ex. My son is 6 and a few years ago my ex bought an age 9 months-4 yrs seat which was fine at the time but he kept him in it until he was way over the height and weight limits when he needed to switch to a high back booster.

When I finally persuaded him to change car seats he bought a booster cushion which as you may know aren't very safe. I had to persuade him to buy a high back booster, sent him articles, fats and videos about it. But he finally did!

You can buy car seats that rear and forward face and can change them with your child's age.

Good luck. I know how awkward it can be with ex's 😧

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