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My 5 year old hates me

(7 Posts)
Fedupmummy3 Tue 11-Apr-17 10:05:30

I am lost on what to do, my daughter hates me, she doesn't listen to me at all, today she has called me fat and an idiot, telling her 3 year old to say the same stuff, also telling him when mummy dies we don't have to live with her any more, I am at my tether with her, she listens to her dad when he comes over, he is amazing in her eyes and even when he lays on my sofa and doesn't do anything with them except watch tv all day. In his eyes she can't do anything wrong but will be forever shouting at our twin boys (one of which has some issues and doesn't follow instructions like another child would) I don't know what to do I am getting to the point where I will sign her over to her dad, but don't wanna separate my kids because of her behaviour,

LaContessaDiPlump Tue 11-Apr-17 10:13:30

She doesn't hate you. My 5yo DS is similar with me in terms of the 'challenging' behaviour, but really I know that he does this the most with me because he's confident that I love him and so he's 'safe' to act up like this. Your DD pushes back at you because (from the sound of it) you are being the actual Parent and not just the fun adult who hangs out on the sofa with her all day.

It feels horrible though. I am told it goes get better!

itsacatastrophe Tue 11-Apr-17 10:16:31

She's lashing out at you because she can. And she can say whatever she wants and she knows you will never turn your back on her. It's not personal. She's still young and can't articulate her feelings very well so this is how they do it. It is tough. There's no doubt about that though. How long ago did you split? Is it recent? Has there been much change in her routine in a short space of time?

Fedupmummy3 Tue 11-Apr-17 11:49:06

We split almost 4 years ago when my twins where 6 months old, come to think of it the bad behaviour is mainly after a weekend that her dad has been here, he doesn't follow the same reward or when to tell off and when not to, So it wouldn't surprise me if she is confussed as to what is expected of her, also when he dad is here he doesn't respect my house, so how can I get her to respect me and my house if she if following his example, i can't get throw to him, starting to think that maybe it's not her that's the issue it's him, she just in the middle,

EffinElle Tue 11-Apr-17 11:54:03

Her dad is the problem, not her. Why is he coming to yours? He needs to take them out or to his own place. Don't tolerate him lounging round your house, your dd is mimicking his shit behaviour towards you.

Fedupmummy3 Tue 11-Apr-17 14:15:38

Since we split up he has been staying at his dads flat, its not clean enough for my kids to be there, so he stay every other weekend, to ''help'' me, and see them, also come round twice in the week to put them to bed when I am at work so my mum doesn't have to stay to long, all I get is shit about it

Starlight2345 Wed 12-Apr-17 13:52:30

I think you need to put in a request for flexible hours or find a way he doesn't need to be in your house..

He is the problem here.

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