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I want out. Don't no where to turn

(15 Posts)
Marydingding Mon 10-Apr-17 17:26:17

Hi everyone. Sorry I think I may in the wrong section. I'm new here.

I'm in a relationship with the father of my one year old. We have recently bought a house together. I want out. I can't afford the mortgage on my own but I can no longer live with him. Iv asked him to leave to give me space however he won't. He wants me to go and for him to look after our little one. That's not going to happen. I wouldn't let it. Plus she's use to me and she's very clingy. I'm not saying he can't see her. I find him very controlling and I can no longer stand it.
I have no where else to go. What am I meant to do?
Please help me as I haven't got a clue where to start.

Expecting2017 Mon 10-Apr-17 17:33:04

Have you not got family?

Marydingding Mon 10-Apr-17 17:35:02

I have but I don't have anyone I can stay with. They all have there own lives. I have turned to them all. They are there to listen to me but they can't offer any advice. They think we should just try and work it out. They don't have any space for me, live to far away or just couldn't have me there.

Expecting2017 Mon 10-Apr-17 17:36:10

That doesn't sound very family like. Even parents? Have you played down your situation to them due to embarrassment or anything?? They may think it's just a phase?

Marydingding Mon 10-Apr-17 17:38:49

No iv told them how I feel. Iv not played anything down at all. They don't think it's fair to cart my little one around from place to place. I no it's not very family like not a lot I can do

Expecting2017 Mon 10-Apr-17 17:48:12

In that case I would get in touch worth citizens advice and see were you stand. They should be able to advise you on what to do next and what sort of benefits you'll be entitled too x

Expecting2017 Mon 10-Apr-17 17:52:00

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/relationship-problems/relationship-breakdown-and-housing/if-you-live-with-your-partner-relationship-breakdown-and-housing/if-you-live-with-your-partner-and-you-own-your-home-relationship-breakdown-and-housing/relationship-breakdown-and-housing-rights-if-you-own-your-home-jointly-with-your-partner/

rainbowsockstoday Mon 10-Apr-17 17:53:52

I can't offer any advice really as I was in a similar situation. We have since worked through things and now get along well. It's horrible wanting to escape and I was desperate to leave but, like you, I was told he wouldn't let me take our son.

Citizens advice should be able to help if you are able.

Marydingding Mon 10-Apr-17 18:06:51

Thank you. I will try call them again tomorrow. I tried to call them today however there wasn't anyone available.

Expecting2017 Mon 10-Apr-17 18:16:24

Of you don't get through via phone I am sure you can walk into your local office xx

Marydingding Mon 10-Apr-17 18:20:25

Great thank you. I will have to find out where it is 🙈 I'm just worried as it sounds like he wants to try take her away from me. He has all the money. I haven't really got anything. He keeps telling me it's he's house even tho it's in joint names and I put half the money in the deposit to. I just can't afford to keep it as I only work part time. Even working full time I couldn't afford it.

Angelreid14 Mon 10-Apr-17 18:22:55

Because he is emotionally controlling it's considered domestic violence and uou could get an occupationan order for your house. If you can't afford it alone it might be worth selling and moving with your share of the money and your little girl. This is a stressful time and I wish you all the best.

Angelreid14 Mon 10-Apr-17 18:27:00

Try and reason with your ex but I it can be difficult if he is using your child to control you. It's not an easy process but it can be made easier if you get support from your local domestic violence out reach team.

Marydingding Mon 10-Apr-17 18:28:56

i have thought about selling. I just couldn't afford anything else again. Could rent but then I wouldn't be able to afford that after a while. I will have to find out all my options but I'm happy to sell the house if that's what I need to do. It's not ideal as I worked hard to save that money but il do what I have to do. He earns more than enough so I can't claim anything at the moment. I don't have a clue about anything like that. I'd love to just be able to get a job where I could afford somewhere and not rely on anyone.

Marydingding Mon 10-Apr-17 18:30:33

I would feel silly going to the domestic violence team as he's never laid a finger on me. I know he's dad has said it's emotional abuse what he's doing but iv driven up even trying to get them involved. Thank you for listening.

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