Don't know where to post this...

[user1491403410]

I have just joined this as don't seem to be able to find any advice

So been with my partner for 18 months. He does not live with me.

I have 2 kids, one is disabled so I am her carer and because I can't work I have to claim benefits.

For the last 4 months, me and my partner have been talking about living together which I obviously know will mean all my benefits stopping - that's absolutely fine as his wage will cover what I will lose however I didn't want to rush into anything. With having a disabled child, I wanted to make sure he could cope with what life can be like and I wanted to make sure she could bond with him.

So he has been staying over 2/3 nights a week but he does not contribute to me financially at all, he has no belongings here, his post doesn't come here - nothing.

So yesterday I had an appointment with citizens advice to do a proper benefits check just to be sure we can afford to live together properly.

And she scared the life out of me, she told me I was committing a fraud because he stays a couple of nights a week? I was sure it was fine to have a partner stay over as long as they don't actually live there?

She asked me if we eat together, if we hold hands in public. Even if we have sex lol. She said if we do any of these things then I am committing an offence and I need to stop him coming over right away.

I just don't get it, as soon as you start a relationship you have to have a joint claim for tax credits? Surely that can't be right. I'm panicking now as I know everything through citizens advice is confidential but she was absolutely horrible so I wouldn't be surprised if she did ring up tax credits about me.

In one months time we will be doing a joint claim, partner has one more month left on his tenancy but until then do I need to be worried? Are you not even allowed to hold hands walking around ASDA - she told me that you cannot shop together either.

Does anyone actually know what is and isn't allowed? Am I committing an offence?

[Foslady]

If you're committing an offence by holding hands and eating together then I think most people are! Your partner has his own place with nothing being registered there.

I think she needs to look again at the situation - under her guidelines once a single person on tax credits always a single person on tax credits......

[Foslady]

There - meaning your home

[purpleangel17]

That's bollocks. Worst case scenario you could be investigated but it would come to nothing as you are clearly not sharing living costs. She is thinking more of situations where couples separate and live in the same house and then have to be very careful re things like shared shopping.

[LineysRun]

Also, if your child is on DLA and you receive carer's allowance, that shouldn't change? And you certainly want to maintain your underlying entitlement, and NI record etc.

[user1491403410]

Oh thank you :-) I am actually on hold to them now to say he is moving in today :-) I've realised that what she told me is bollocks. I genuinely think she just didn't like the look of me and thought I was a typical benefit scrounger. I looked absolutely shattered - been up all night with my son - hair mess, yesterday's make up still on. I'd never want to get into trouble over this.

Last year they thought my children's dad still lived with me because I received a letter in his name and they can track your post. So I had to send my entire life in paper to them to prove he didn't. It's ridiculous.

[user1491403410]

And yes my carers and dla all remain the same. Apparently we will still be entitled to quite a bit of ctc too due to the fact we get the disability element of it but im not holding my breathe on that one