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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

contact with DV

13 replies

BCGRMDP · 01/04/2017 11:12

ex got a 12 month suspended sentence for assault/threats to kill. it was a horrendous relationship with multiple assaults in front of the kids, threats on mine and their lives, sexual assault towards me repeatedly, assault on toddler.

this morning i received a letter from a solicitor for him to pursue contact. now what do i do?

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MrsMackenzo · 01/04/2017 11:18

I'm so, so sorry that you had to go through all that, OP. Hope you're holding up OK. This can't be easy for you or your children [flower]

I'm having a befuddled brain moment here but just to clarify - the letter was from your ex's solicitor, stating that the ex wants to get back in contact with you?

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MrsMackenzo · 01/04/2017 11:19

Damn it!

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BCGRMDP · 01/04/2017 11:25

sorry it was from his solicitor wanting contact with the kids.

social services have advised letting him take me to court but i dont want to do tjat if social services then turn around and dont support no contact. ideally i would agree to contact centre only until they are 18 but not sure thats realistic!

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MrsMackenzo · 01/04/2017 11:30

My first piece of advice to you would be to get some legal advice over this. Would that be feasible? Can you get a solicitor as well?

I can understand why you wouldn't want to go to court with him, and I think you need to try and get what's best for you and the kids above what's best for him.

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BCGRMDP · 01/04/2017 16:22

going to call for an appointment monday but its driving me crazy not knowing what will happen next.

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BCGRMDP · 01/04/2017 22:42

i have 33 screenshots of what im hoping are pretty damning screenshots!

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MrsMackenzo · 02/04/2017 14:33

That's definitely the best plan. I can understand why it would make you feel that way, and it's only natural to be worried over it.

Are the screenshots of conversations between you and your ex?

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BCGRMDP · 02/04/2017 15:28

yeah they are. there are quite a few where he admits hurting them specifically, lots admitting hurting me and in front of them etc

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Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 02/04/2017 15:30

Personally I would ignore the letter. . It will cost him a lot to take you to court. If he has little or no chance is he really going to waste that amount of cash??
Idle threats to intimidate you imo.

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MrsMackenzo · 02/04/2017 17:44

He sounds like the sort of person you wouldn't want around your children at any cost. I would do everything I could to keep him away from them, and to be honest, I'm surprised that his solicitor actually thinks this is a battle he has a chance of winning.

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BCGRMDP · 02/04/2017 18:48

he probably hasnt been truthful with him!

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BCGRMDP · 03/04/2017 19:07

i have been doing more digging, i now have 60 screenshots referring to 35 seperate incidents the kids have either witnessed or been directly hurt during.

for the love of god they best keep mg children safe. they are 2 and 6 months :(

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BCGRMDP · 07/04/2017 20:42

does anyone know if it will help my case proving he is an extremely violent person and not just towards me if i can demonstrate other incidents that have occurred with other people?

he threatenrmed to open pur neighbour up and screamed a torrent of abuse at him in front of our then 8 month old.

also been suspended twice from work for threatening behaviour and violence. all within our 3 years together