Needing some upbeat - it'll be alright stories after a big break up. After 6 years and one DC, my partner and I have split up. He's moving out on Monday. It's not salvageable though we can be respectfully civil to each other most of the time so on that note, that's a major bonus. However, the break up is going to leave me beyond broke and financially panicky (he's a teacher so it's going to be tight all round), found out I was losing my main freelance 'bread and butter' job the other week with almost no notice due to funding cuts various other shifty things recently. I need it after the day I've had today too - epic tantrums (not mine), dose of worms from nursery, gammy twisted knee and didn't get job I thought I was a shoe in for it went to interview for last week (they only just told me). Just starting to feel like this is it.. I've given up a regular income to become a mum whilst my ex's life hasn't changed all that much, money's always going to be a worry and the possibility of meeting someone else in my mid 40s seems unlikely. Feeling negative and scared about the future. If you have any positive tales of moving on and moving forward and thinking a year ago you were in a miserable situation, please share! Could really do with some positive outcomes right now!
It's ok really it is. I think the first year is hard but then I'm 6 years on and met someone last year (I'm 45 dd is 8) . If you can work out the finances together, child maintenance and look at the gingerbread site for practical advice it might make you feel a bit more in control.
You will too. My happiness came when I got comfortable in my own skin, in my own company. Got control of the finances, made sure my dd was happy, made a fresh start somewhere new and most of all.....I was kind to myself and spent time with friends and people who loved and supported me.
Once you have healed and got control and routine back you will start to move on and be happy again xxxx
My first year after divorce was the happiest of my life. Finding my feet, learning to allow myself the freedom to do (again) things I loved that I had stoped doing because the ex didn't enjoy them. My relationship with DS grew much stronger. I claimed my house back to myself.
It was a very empowering time. Exhausting and possibly worrying (financially speaking) but happy. It was as if the sun had come out.
As I was always tired after work, the long drive to school and dealing wit parenting duties. I started falling asleep at 8, which meant I was up at 4 am with 3 hours to do as I pleased. So I used to do half an hour of Pilates, read for an hour, tidy up a bit, prepare lunches, get dressed without hurries and be ready for the day before waking DS. i have never been so relaxed and in such a good physical shape than on that time.
Obviously that all came to an end when I met my new partner . But although there is not much me time anymore (we do a lot of stuff together) what I learned in my previous relationship has helped me a lot to make this new relationship much better than the last one.
Not quite into my first year of a break up but so far I have found myself financially better off (universal credit and also the fact that my partner didn't share the money he made), I am starting to have a bit more time to myself due to the sharing of childcare. I had a brief relationship - some good stuff came out of that (I am also about to hit my mid-40s).
I think it can be exciting and empowering. My mantra is keep your head up and your heart open.