Why is co parenting so hard?

[Louw12345]

It's important that the children have rules and also have both parents in their life (if that's possible ).
But my ex seems to do what he likes when he has the children I don't question him about it no point he will just get worse, but I will talk to my children.

1. 7 and 5 years old letting them stay up till 1am while sat downstairs drinking with hos girlfriend
   
2. letting our 12 year old stay out at a m8s neither of us know when he spoke to her dad, he told me he sounded like a young boy
   
3. giving said child alcohol when he knows we have an issue with her drinking
   
4. asking his 14 year old if she can get him some parents evening times because he doesn't want to go with your mum tbh
   
   The last one is most recent and I'm in shock, she said to him she would ask but school said no and she said email my teachers If you dont want to come.
   She is picking her options for her GCSEs and yesterday had panic attacks throughout the day. She puts alot of pressure on herself to achieve the best she can, and he puts her into the middle of that.
   I really wouldn't mind if he wanted to go to parents evening she could even get the most important ones together so he could leave early.
   Is this him or his girlfriend? Coz when he picks the kids up she rings after 5 mins of him being stood at the door.
   
   Will this ever get better as we have another 13 years b4 our youngest is 18. I would live to be able to show my kids that just because we aren't together we can still get on for them.

[Jamhandprints]

It sounds awful, I wouldn't let them go. Shocking. Keep a record of what he does and dates. If it's as you say then it's a danger for them to be there. X

[Louw12345]

My 12 has a support worker and I tell her everything. She said she's going to ask him to be involved with the work she does with her.
Tbh I would stop them going but I have no hard proof other than what the children say, I do believe my kids but I know what's he's like and how he will turn it onto me.
Thid is why I talk to the children, like really you stayed up till 1am wow you won't grow big and strong if your body doesn't get enough rest.
My 12 year old I say I prefer to know who your with and where if I'm not happy with what your saying I will bring you home due to the fact your safety is my priority.

That's the only way I feel I can do this at the moment and also gets them thinking about what they should and shouldn't be doing