I thought I was doing okay ... Separated October last year - achieved a Distinction in my MA (retraining); luckily got a FT job in January. Two kids (15 and 11); ex lives 5 mins away but sees them once overnight a week for a Disney Dad time. I do it all - parents' evening, homework supervision, organising social events/activities/medical appts/just child-rearing ... like most of you do. But tonight I feel like I'm drowning. It's endless ... this grind ... this working all day at a full-time stressful job and then 3-4 hours childcare when I get home. Until 10pm. And then I fall into bed. Exhausted. Desperate for sleep, knowing it will all start again tomorrow. And in the meantime, ex-h has a lovely relaxing evening seeing to himself, eating in peace. I've suggested
demanded he does more. He won't. He doesn't deserve to be called a father. I hate him for his lack of appreciation for all that I do; his lack of responsibility. I feel like I'm drowning. And I fight back the (admittedly, self-pitying) tears so the kids won't see. But I end up snapping - at the end of my tether. Followed by guilt.
I guess tomorrow's another day.
I don't know what to say other than I feel it too. But I hope that the reward is having the respect and love of our kids.
Sounds like you are doing an awesome job. Right there with you tho with feeling like drowning in it all. Be kind to yourself ...everyone snaps it's human nature. I've not met a perfect parent yet! And it's bloody hard this lone parenting.
Sounds like you have been working really hard too..Congrats on MA! What an amazing role model you are for your kids. They will know what you have done for them one day...and your kids will grow up loved and nurtured.
I don't think my ex deserves to be called a dad either, breaks my heart when people who desperately want to be a good parent don't get the opportunity then arses who don't want the job get a child. But this is life. Its unfair. Got to make the most of it...and sounds lie your doing just that. Forgive yourself for snapping...your a great mum!! X
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