Mother being unfair(4 Posts)
Firstly apologies I am a father despite this being "MUMSNET"
I have a daughter who is now 1 years old. Contact has been somewhat regular, I work 4 on 4 off at my job so I do have plenty of time so to speak however I live in south west Scotland and the mother of my child relocated back to her parents up on the west coast of Scotland so it's a 2hr drive there and 2hrs back.
Currently I'm paying £100 a month for her which we both agreed to, I'm not on the biggest salaries maybe £16,000 a year before tax - my ex partner used to meet me halfway once or twice but then stopped so I got a solicitor involved which resolved nothing so I stopped going as I could not afford to keep him due to being unable to get legal aid, well anyway my ex partner won't meet me halfway but instead meet me in Glasgow which knocks 30mins off my journey but is still quite costly given I am only allowed my daughter for 24hrs. She ha said that's all I'm allowed because she feels I don't make an effort despite me struggling to afford the fuel all the time.
It's breaking my heart cause I feel powerless cause I can't afford a solicitor and she's the one calling the shots.
Any help and advice would be appreciated.
Very simple solution, take her to court & self represent.
Self represent and do absolutely everything to keep up contact. Keep conversations with your ex factual and non emotional and record everything.
Also mumsnet should change its name. We are not all mums!
Hi. I would suggest mediation before court, always. I went through both and court is a nightmare (and he never stuck to the plan anyway...I havent got the emotional energy to take him back to court...so its pointless). ). If you want to put the future of your child's care arrangements in the hands of a stranger tho... then courts the way forward. They wont accept your application until you've done mediation anyway. So...find out your local mediators and see whether you can negotiate a better deal for your child, alongside with your ex. I would go in with a good plan of what you want.. Remember it's all about what's best for the child...so keep conversation there. Its damaging to a child not to have the opportunity of a close relationship with both parents etc. Rather than its unfair for you. If you have 4 days off.. then you have time/ability and right to see your child then. Once school starts it may get more tricky but at 1 I'm sure you could argue for more.
Get those lines of communication open with your child's mum, decide what you feel is a good plan for your childs care arranments, and get yourself a good mediator. Good luck.
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