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Child Contact Arrangements Order - in the event of ex playing games and breaching....

(3 Posts)
SoulSista85 Mon 20-Feb-17 00:06:58

Hi all,

It's been so long since I've posted and I truly can't believe I'm here again!

Some context: basically my ex and I have been split up for nearly 4 years. We have 2 dd's.

The history involves domestic violence, stalking, harassment and all manner of nasty stuff which meant that he took me to court for contact with our dd's after I protected my family by getting a restraining order against him. The restraining order lasted two years.

After much hassle, the court granted him every other weekend from Friday after school through until Sunday when he drops them back in the afternoon. He was also granted Wednesday's after school until 6 which he has since failed (with no reason and without providing an alternative) to stick to.

There's plenty more to this but to cut to the chase, he called our eldest dd last week on her mobile and told her that he would no longer be able to have them when he's supposed to.

She was really upset and I had to take the phone from her and attempt to get him to talk with me about what the arrangements were going to be. He refused to talk to me about it and I ended up hanging up as he started the typical narcissistic word salad (manipulating behaviour) and blocking him on her phone.

I need to point out that the ex and I are no contact unless it's in relation to the children and contact arrangements. Prior to this call to our 8-year-old he had not once contacted me to discuss any changes he needs to make.

I followed up with a text, copied, pasted and sent in an email to him reminding him of his obligations to comply with the court order and to point out that he is breaching it the day after.

Nothing. No response whatsoever.

Cut to almost a week later (the day he was supposed to be taking his alternate weekend but had told our eldest he couldn't) I miss a phone call from him around what in typical circumstances would'very been pick up time whilst at work. I left work a few minutes later to find two texts from him.

One asking where the girls were and a second with some shitty comment accusing ME of breaching the court order.

I was not home when these texts arrived so I have no way of knowing if he turned up to pick them up although along with what I know about him, I also have reason to doubt he did as my friend/neighbour who looked after our dd's while I was at work was on her way home with them at the time those texts came through and she didn't see him. I say this as well because had he have been there, there's no way our dd's would have missed him and they both assure me that they did not see him either.

He turned up outside our flat a couple hours later though. I hid myself and our dd's and watched him outside until he had gone. I logged this with 101 as he should not have been there.

I honestly don't know what to do. Would anyone have any advice here?

SoulSista85 Mon 20-Feb-17 00:47:54

I have approached the solicitor that represented me in court for the order itself but because he has been involved already, I have to book an appointment for 30 minster at £75 + VAT. I don'the have that to spare 😕

Starlight2345 Mon 20-Feb-17 09:38:52

Are you eligable for legal aid?

To be honest the problem with court order..He can not bother but you have to make them available. Don't argue if he wants to cancel tell him he needs to text or email you. Make sure you document any times he doesn't turn up. Based on not turning up once won't make a difference..However it appears he is wanting to play games with you for whatever reason. So yes do report to 101 if he is at your flat, any harassment however do not give him any idea his behaviour is bothering you.

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