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Not chasing ex up re contact this weekend.

(6 Posts)
sailorcherries Thu 09-Feb-17 20:49:03

So my ex through a hissy fit this time last year and demanded that I make all contact for DS going to see ex through him (previously had been his mother, as he's unreliable).

I've had to chase him up numerous times over the past year to check arrangements and ensure DS was still going over.

At the start of this year I told ex I'd no longer be running around after him and that DS would not be going if arrangements weren't confirmed the night before.

DS is due to go this weekend but exs mother is away on holiday on Sunday, busy Saturday and it's a long weekend. I really needed ex to confirm details including drop off and pick up (he doesn't drive which makes getting DS there/home /clubs difficult if his mother isn't around). He still hasn't bothered and I'm refusing to contact him.

Instead I feel like just leaving contact this weekend because of how crappy he is. Am I being a bitch?

bettycat81 Thu 09-Feb-17 21:31:25

No, make the arrangements you need to make.

He has had enough time and warning to confirm. It is his relationship (with his Son) to maintain and put effort into and so he needs to make/confirm the arrangements in enough time.

Summerisdone Thu 09-Feb-17 21:47:02

My ex can be very similar, the last couple of months things seem to have taken a turn for the better, but I'm not becoming complacent in his new reliability just yet.
For the weekends ex has DS I have it in place that DS must be picked up by 10am on Saturday morning and dropped off no earlier than 6 pm on the Sunday. This is so I can make whatever arrangements I'm making, and if he hasn't arrived by 10 then he knows he's likely coming to an empty home and the same if he turns up before 6 on the Sunday.
I had to do this because I found myself hanging around all weekend for him to pick up/drop off DS as he could never stick to times and sometimes wasn't even turning up at all.
I also have to work one weekend a month so I always arrange that around DM's availability so I can fall back on her if ex lets me down which was quite often until recently.
I'd say just go ahead and make your arrangements, if your ex turns up early morning then that's fine, but if not then get on and do your own things and so what if he turns up and you've already gone out.

Rainbowqueeen Thu 09-Feb-17 21:58:33

Your job is to make your child available for contact. The rest is up to him.

Sounds like you have done your part

sailorcherries Thu 09-Feb-17 21:59:37

Ex wouldn't turn up, his mother does the runs for him but with her being busy and then away I've no idea what he was going to do this weekend. He could use public transport or ask me to do the driving, but hasn't bothered his arse to check anything.

He is so bloody lazy and completely unfazed about seeing his child.

ivykaty44 Thu 09-Feb-17 22:04:23

Of course your not being a bitch

You set out adequate rules, stick to the rules and don't be a walk over

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