CMS changeover tomorrow, ex's threats...

[StrongerThanIThought76]

Cms taking over our CSA case tomorrow. I need a paper trail of amount due (which is legally enforceable) to prove income to my mortgage lender. Have asked CMS to do assessment for new case then we go to current arrangement of ex transferring money each month.

Ex phoned 3 weeks ago to demand I halt the case or he's going to quit his job. 'Best he can afford' is a rise of £5 a week then a list of expenses - new car to buy, petrol, bills, mortgage, council tax etc etc. He already can't afford to see his kids apparently, has seen them 7 times in 3 years. We live 150 miles apart but I've dropped them to his door for half of the journeys where we agreed to meet half way. Told me that if the CMS figure is more than £5 higher (last CSA assessment in 2013) he's going to quit his job and get one in his village that pays half as much as he earns now.

So tomorrow they're going to push that magic button that links him to HMRC to figure out what he should be paying based on his salary. I reckon he's had a promotion that he hasn't admitted hence the demand to halt the case. On the same salary as he was on the figure should be exactly the same.

He's only ever been with the same company, is unqualified and wouldn't do well at interview unless he knew the boss or it was a NMW job.

Hand hold please, I'm dreading the fall-out from this but standing my ground. He hates that this is out of his control, has used his contact with the kids to beat me with for the last 5+ years

[Louw12345]

Stay calm and let them do what they need to. If he leaves his job more fool him coz he will have alot less money.
My kids dad was the same once and he did actually lose his job (not going in coz he was a party animal) but he soon realiased needed a job.

[Starlight2345]

My CSA is been transferred to CMS next week ...I am expecting ex to kick off despite not hearing from him for 6 years.

The quit job threat is so common..If he can't afford the increased maintenance he definitely can't afford to quit..Just ignore any conversation about maintenance tell him CMS are dealing with it..Remember CMS is the legal minimum he is expected to pay.

[StrongerThanIThought76]

Exh called last night. Apparently the CMS called him to advise new figure. (Do they really call up?)

So he's got to pay £19 a week more. Doing the calculations backwards I worked out that he's had a £6k payrise since last CSA assessment. He's adament he's not going to pay, and has offered £10 a month increase or he's going to quit his job.

His household income (after tax and CMS contribution) is still less than mine, I have the kids 24/7/365 and he has only himself to keep.

I'm being a selfish money grabbing bitch for insisting on the full amount (and i will go for collect and pay if he doesn't pay properly which will cost him 20% more) rather than accept his offer. Never in 7 years has he paid a penny more than CSA for anything - school trips, uniform, extra curricular stuff - not a single penny.

Am I really being grabby? He's going to quit his job (but the debt will still be outstanding and I will chase every penny) but that will leave him even worse off than he alleges he already is.

I wish I could afford a new car every 3 years. Try parenting full time sunshine! Raaaaaaarrrrrr.... Sorry for the rant...

[Ilovecaindingle]

Why should you let him negotiate what he pays??? They have said the figure and he needs to pay it. .

[Cel982]

Of course you're not being grabby. You know that. Stand your ground, do not engage in negotiations with him and let him figure out that quitting his job is not going to improve his financial situation.

[bloodyteenagers]

Tell him go ahead quit.
For 26 weeks he will have no income. So the car will have to be returned. No payments on the mortgage will be paid so will be repossessed. And his debt to cma will increase so when he finally starts getting money not only will he have to pay £5 a week from the £73.10 a week but he will also have to pay extra for the arrears. And of course - rent for the house share, council tax, other bills, food, clothing and toiletries, and of course 26 weeks of other debts.

[BlackeyedSusan]

ahhh the poor dear... cloud cookoo land must be so lovely.

[StrongerThanIThought76]

So the CMS paperwork came through. Confirms all figures, so massive payrise happened. Also for some reason payment not due until mid-March so he's told me he won't pay a penny for Feb so we're going to have an overdraft to pay off too. That's unless he does decide to quit work.

Also in the post I received a parcel from him - literally the filthy, worn shirt off his back with a snide note attached.

I couldn't make this up

[kittybiscuits]

Don't talk to him any more. Selfish cunt. Ignore the threats. That's standard for a selfish asshole.