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How much contact/demands is reasonable from exp over child

(3 Posts)
FatimaLovesBread Wed 18-Jan-17 09:40:14

I am posting for advice on behalf of a struggling family member and her relationship with the father of her child.

I'm looking for advice and guidance on how much contact such as text messages is reasonable to be receiving from the father and also from his girlfriend? And also what contact and demands are considered acceptable and what unreasonable?

Their relationship is a tricky one and it has come to a head this week as exp did not feel she was taking a minor health issue seriously. After demanding the child be taken to the doctors the doctor confirmed what the mother had been saying all along. Doctor also said what exp was doing constituted emotional abuse and referred her to a women's charity.

Since then, and with no contact from my relative, she has received numerous text messages from both the father and his girlfriend. I stepped in with contact as it is severely affecting her already bad mental health.

We are aiming to all sit down for a discussion on where to go forward but I was just looking for advice of what is reasonable behaviour. Any charities or websites I can contact and refer to as back up would be a great help.

I feel contact between the father and mother in the current situation should only be kept to a minimum ie. Changes to contact arrangements, ill health or injury.
I don't feel his girlfriend should be contacting at all.
Are things like commenting on messy hair, stains on the child's clothes, clothes not being fancy enough (all subjective and in my opinion unfounded) considered reasonable?

I'm sorry if this is worded confusingly, I don't want to out myself but also could really do with some advice on how best to proceed.

Thanks in advance for any help

TurtleIsland Wed 18-Jan-17 11:01:45

Nobody has the right to harass and stress another person by unreasonable, nasty messages.
If she feels so worried, she needs to take screen shots of the messages, try to print them out and call the police.
Frequency and content of messages should be within reasonable parameters, and if she has asked them to stop contacting her and they carry on, this is definitely abuse and harassment.
Time to get some advice from the police and maybe Refuge or another women's charity, she should not be made to feel bad by her ex and especially his new partner!

ThatsPlenty Thu 19-Jan-17 17:12:53

The exs girlfriend shouldn't be texting your family member at all. The comments about messy hair, stains on clothes etc sounds like petty point scoring.I would bet my life that the new girlfriend is instigating most of this because of jealousy. I've been there with my ex, as soon as they split he was a semi-normal person....until he met the next girlfriend hmm

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