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Would ExP be able to fight my school choice?

(17 Posts)
Lovelilies Mon 16-Jan-17 20:45:51

DS is only 3 and goes to a 'playgroup' with forest school 2 mornings a week at the moment. It's 5 miles away from my house and I take him and pick up.
I would like him to start at my local pre-school and then primary. It's an excellent school however ExP has a problem with it as I live on a council estate [gasp] and he thinks it's rough.
I have made my house very nice for the DCs and get on well with neighbours. DS has made friends with local kids and I think he'd benefit from going to the same school.
I'm going to have a look round tomorrow, but am scared to tell ExP!
Would he be able to do anything about it if I signed him up to start there?

Ilovecaindingle Mon 16-Jan-17 20:50:21

If your choice is justifiable and he took you to court - to exercise his right to assist in the decision making- I doubt he would get anywhere with his tantrum tbh.

Lovelilies Mon 16-Jan-17 20:58:26

Do you think I should let him know I'm going to look around, or wait til I have made a decision?

Lovelilies Mon 16-Jan-17 21:46:46


Lovelilies Tue 17-Jan-17 07:08:52

Bump for morning crowd

GreenGoblin0 Tue 17-Jan-17 17:04:51

are you talking about preschool or applying for reception place at primary school?

CheekyNandosChicken Tue 17-Jan-17 17:56:21

Who is the resident parent?

SparkyBlue Tue 17-Jan-17 17:59:31

My cousin had something similar with her ex. He had issues with the accent the child might get at the local school. The judge practically flung him out of the court.

whyohwhy000 Tue 17-Jan-17 18:03:31

Who does your DS live with on the majority of school nights (Sunday-Thursday)? That person (in most local authorities) can decide. That's if you're talking about primary school places.

If you mean preschool places, you'd have to check with the preschool.

Ilovecaindingle Tue 17-Jan-17 18:04:52

Tell him when you have decided. ..

NotThrowAwayMyShot Tue 17-Jan-17 18:06:31

As its your local school your DS might not even be allocated a place at a school further away even if you applied, so I think your ex would need a very good reason to be able to object.

GreenGoblin0 Tue 17-Jan-17 18:24:15

if dad has parental responsibility then he has equal say over the child's education regardless of who is the resident parent. agree he would need stronger grounds than "its on a council estate" to object though

OP why don't you try to avoid any conflict oj the matter by inviting him to be involved in choosing your child's school- perhaps even invite him to look at the pre school with you or separate from you if you prefer

thatdearoctopus Tue 17-Jan-17 18:52:39

If the child lives predominantly with you, then it's your address that counts for eligibility at any school. With so many schools being over-subscribed nowadays, it may well be that you don't have any choice anyway, but to put your local catchment school.

If your ex has fond dreams of sending him to a naice little 'Outstanding' school a few miles away (where the accents are naice too), then he might get a rude shock when he discovers he hasn't a hope in hell of gaining a place.

Your plan is much more realistic, apart from anything else.

Lovelilies Tue 17-Jan-17 20:11:46

It's the preschool and then the primary. He has DS 2 nights a week unless he's working more/ looking after his horrible parents/ going to football
We had agreed on the playgroup he's at now with a view to going to the naice village school connected to it, but logistically the one local to me would be easier.
I went to look around today and it's a very good school and preschool... a bit too 'busy' for my liking though. I asked ExP if he would come and look with me some time but he refuses on the grounds that it's too rough.
DS liked it, but I'm not keen on how 'schooly ' it is, if that makes sense?
Where he is now, they have a forest school and just play with each other, it's basic but lovely, the school one was very much like a school, where they do phonics etc which I think isn't necessary at 3/4 years I home ed DD1, while other story

Starlight2345 Tue 17-Jan-17 20:28:52

assuming your DS is not going to school this September. You could put him in more Formal September but if it doesn't feel right then maybe keep him where he is.

My DS was in a nursery that not many children went to his school from. He has made a new set of friends.

seventhgonickname Tue 31-Jan-17 23:29:24

Unless he's going to help with the logistics go with the one you want,he can object but if it is in your catchment and you are doing /organising the majority of the drop off /pick ups then he will be fighting a loosing battle.

MrsBlennerhassett Tue 31-Jan-17 23:37:00

I think if your ex isnt even bothering to actually look at other options with you then just put your child in the school of your choice. He could take it to court but it will get thrown out because he hasnt even investigated the decision himself although he was given the opportunity and you cant expect a judge to back you up in not wanting a child to attend a good school just because its on a council estate, especially when hes never even taken the time to go and see it!!

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