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Would you change DC surname?

(12 Posts)
Macaroni22 Sun 15-Jan-17 00:09:18

DD is 4 years old she has not seen or had anything to do with her father since she was 2. He is a horrible abusive man so it's brilliant for me and my daughter that he's no longer around. He doesnt pay maintenance and there is no contact at all and I doubt there ever will be. However DD still has his surname and I guess I just feel it's a bit odd. I don't want her ever to be confused over her identity when she's older and wonder why she has the surname of someone she's never even met/is not a nice person. But then I'm also unsure of changing it because that's her name and it feels a bit wrong to change her name after 4 years?!

WWYD?
Btw I'm not talking from a legal point of view just what you think would be better for DD.

Dogegg33 Sun 15-Jan-17 00:27:58

Change it!!

spaceyface89 Sun 15-Jan-17 15:19:05

Definitely change it! You're the family and you're doing all the work!

Macaroni22 Sun 15-Jan-17 16:38:51

Thank you smile

I just worry with it being on her birth certificate will she have to still use her current surname for things like passport/exams/doctors or anything requiring identification? Or would she never have to use it again? What would happen with her birth certificate?

spaceyface89 Sun 15-Jan-17 20:42:21

https://gingerbread.org.uk/Factsheet_Download.aspx?ID=33&MID=9473

This is pretty useful. I have considered it too recently

cakedup Sun 15-Jan-17 23:00:37

DS had no contact with his 'father' since the age of 2. I changed it before he started school, the school (and two subsequent schools) are fine with it, as is the doctors, dentists etc. The only place he has his 'real' surname is in his passport. Otherwise he uses my surname. Do it!

Macaroni22 Sun 15-Jan-17 23:29:10

Thank you everyone. Think i'm going to do it eeek!

I will no longer cringe inside everytime I have to say DDs full name 😃

CatatonicLadybug Sun 15-Jan-17 23:40:39

Change it. Similar story in my childhood but my mum didn't change it. I hated it so much and there were so many times when I found myself having to explain why I had that surname. Obviously a great story to have to tell all the time. Change is good in this case I think!

inflatableflowers Sat 21-Jan-17 16:18:28

I changed my given stepdad's surname back to my birth name when I was 18

The only issues it caused me was trying to get my first passport and driving licence as I had two surnames 'in the system' which generated extra paperwork evid nice requirements

I also worried my step-siblings thought it meant I was ousting them

I also unintentionally struggled a bit with my actual identity for a while

I don't intend ever changing my surname if I got married as it would mean the kids have a different surname to me, but then I've reached 48 and never been married so it's an unlikely scenario now

OopsDearyMe Sun 05-Feb-17 02:58:51

Do it, I did and got told off for doing so, still I stood my ground and fought it. I won too.!!

Starlight2345 Mon 06-Feb-17 19:50:03

I would do it too. It is often referred to on forms as family name..

llangennith Mon 06-Feb-17 19:57:09

I changed DD1's surname to mine when she was 5. There's a section on the passport application form for explaining why name is different from birth certificate. Then you just tell Dr etc her new name.

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