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Lone parents with baby living away from family

(8 Posts)
Fakehungarian Sat 07-Jan-17 23:01:10

Hello. I'm a soon to be lone parent with a 5 month old. I've been living abroad and am moving back to the uk but can't decide where to move back to. I'd like to be back in a city where I have lots of friends and things to do with baby but also am thinking I should be close to family for help with baby. The problem is that my family live in a small town where there's not much going on at all. I just can't decide which is more important: being with family but with not many like minded people around and not much to do, or being around like minded people with lots to do but not being close to family.

Has anyone else had experience of this? What would you say is more important as a lone parent?

CL12345 Sun 08-Jan-17 09:41:06

I do live in the UK and my family abroad; been a lone parent since DC was 3 month old (now 9.5 month) and I wish my family rather than my friends were around.
If you're like me (and I gather most of the lone parents) you will anyway not have much time to socialise nor see your friends, at least for the first few years.
If you know your family will be supportive, if I were you, I'd move close to them; you'll still have the possibility to move closer to your friends when DC gets older.

PenguinRoar Sun 08-Jan-17 09:44:53

I've done both.... lived close to friends and had a social life and some support and lived close to parents. Less social life near parents as it's harder going out to make friends working ft and having a child at school, but easier and cheaper for childcare. The emotional support from family is far greater and DS gets to see them much more frequently.

It's a tough decision, but on balance having family around is more important for me and DS right now and I can also provide them with support too.

ohidoliketobe Sun 08-Jan-17 09:49:09

Agree with CL, obviously it's very dependent on the situation and the people involved but if you feel family would be supportive then I would choose family over friends during DCs early years.
I'm not a lone parent, my DC are 2.5 and 4 months. DS starts school in 18 months and we're currently debating wether1to to try and move 10 miles from a large town we currently live to the small town my family live. Schools are better and there'd certainly be the extra help with school pick ups on my working days. We'd probably still see friends the same amount and it'd actually be easier to arrange a sitter.

SavoyCabbage Sun 08-Jan-17 10:03:39

My dc grew up without any extended family when we lived abroad. We had lots if friends who filled the gaps a bit but I was really aware that it's not the same as having family who loved them.

For me it would depend on how far away the two places are and how often you can get to see your family.

Thingvellir Sun 08-Jan-17 10:08:28

I would tend towards being close to family - they are a more constant and reliable help, and you will no doubt wish for your child to establish close relationships with them - this is more likely with a day to day contact and proximity rather than infrequent holidays staying with them.

Depending on how supportive you think they will be, would you be able to leave your child with them overnights later on when your child is older and spend the odd weekend letting your hair down staying in the city with your friends?

Good luck whatever you choose OP

HappyHedgehog247 Mon 09-Jan-17 21:47:59

I made this choice last year and went for family. Don't regret it.

Lostalot Tue 10-Jan-17 22:45:28

family, you can always move when little one is older

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