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19 month old & 11 weeks pregnant - help x

(5 Posts)
user1480264544 Thu 05-Jan-17 07:26:34

Hi all I'm 11 weeks pregnant and also have a 19 month old daughter. Things haven't been great at home for a long time and I found myself in a position where my relationship completely broke down. It is my fault as I made a massive mistake and began texting a member of my partners family and things progressed. There is nothing I regret more in my life than making this decision but I can't change it. Any way me and my partner workEd it out and then I discovered I'm pregnant (definitely his no question over this what so ever). Things are great 6 days out of 7 but he keeps having flashbacks and making things worse in his head than they actually are. Now I know things can't continue as there is no trust so I'm prepared to walk away for the good of the children. But last night he was up on his phone all night so I looked on it to see what he was up to and he was looking into taking full custody of our children! This has completely heart broken me as I didn't think he would do this! He earns well and is financially stable.. able to provide everything they need then you have me I work part time currently and I know I will really struggle. I don't know what to do I'm so scared I'm going to loose my children x

NoToast Thu 05-Jan-17 12:39:22

Hello user,

I'm so sorry to hear this, didn't want to read and run. You are not the first to make a mistake and knowing things are the result of your actions doesn't make it easier to bear (bitter experience).

What do you want? Can you salvage the relationship, through counselling or other help?

I have no experience of custody so am afraid I can't help there. Could you seek legal advice- even post in the legal section on Mumsnet so you have a better idea, rather than lots of horrible worries.

Take care.

user1480264544 Thu 05-Jan-17 15:57:46

I did but I know it's going to keep coming back it was a horrible mistakE but I was so low about a lot and had not long had a baby my partner was working 7 days a week every hour under the sun. I just worry he is going to drag us through this or that all this stress is harming my baby it's horrible
Thank you x

Ladybird1979 Thu 05-Jan-17 20:23:02

I'm sorry I don't understand the custody side. Have you spoken to him about it. We all google stuff it does not necessarily mean what you think. Sounds like you've both been through a lot and need to communicate with each other. Good luck.

CL12345 Fri 06-Jan-17 04:46:05

I agree with Ladybird, this seems like a normal reaction to me; your partner does not want to "lose" his child(ren) -the same way, you don't want to lose your child(ren)!-, and is just reading away.

I also read a lot before deciding to walk away from the father of my child, just to know what could happen in the worst case scenario etc...

This does not necessary mean he will ask for full custody, and I believe he would need a good reason (safeguarding issue) for this. I also believe mediation is compulsory before going to court, so again I agree with Ladybird, you will have to talk together and work it out.
(This is no way a legal advice, just my gut feeling)

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