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Feel so down :(

(5 Posts)
Mummyof21988 Wed 04-Jan-17 09:11:41

Hi very long winded but I will try cut short basically I have 2 children 2 different fathers my 1st child's father didn't want anything to do with me anymore when I told him I was pregnant and I've never seen or heard from him again going on 9 years now and my second child's father brought my 1st up and left out the blue when my second was a baby he stopped filing for contact 6 years ago now I am now going through divorce from my husband of 4 years and I can't help but feel soooo guilty on my 2 children with what they have been through they a lovely children and so well behaved I just have this constant worry that I've let them down so much and I always feel I don't give them the attention they need 😔 I take antidepresents as it is and I'm currently pregnant which isn't helping with the mood I think but what can I do to stop this guilt 😔

NoToast Thu 05-Jan-17 12:54:31

Mummy you sound so sad and you have a tonne of things on your plate. Pregnant and going through a divorce is really tough, without having to care for older children and deal with all your worries from them.

Your children are lucky to have a caring mum like you, you are the constant in their lives and you don't sound as if you've let them down but tried to create happy homes for them.

Children are resilient and do go through difficult things and come out the other side.

I'm sorry I can't give advice on the guilt, could you talk to your GP or midwife about the support that's available, such as an offer of counselling so you can talk about your feelings? This board can be a bit quiet but there are always people in chat who can offer support if you need help.

Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.

Mummyof21988 Thu 05-Jan-17 19:42:21

Thankyou so much I was abit down yesterday and did say to my children in the car on the way home from school "do you really love me and think I'm a good mum" I told them I worry I'm not being the best mum and they turned round and said "you are the best mum and don't ever forget that it will never change" was so sweet and really needed that bless them X

ImprovisingNow Thu 05-Jan-17 21:07:40

Children need love and care from one decent parent, that's enough so don't beat yourself up.

My ex twunt cheated with a bunch of random women and ended up marrying one of them who was pregnant by someone else and bringing up her child as his. Not surprisingly our DC have never forgiven him. They went through a very sad period of a year or so after the divorce of feeling worthless because he was obviously incapable of caring about them.

However, we have a very close bond and a lovelier bunch of DC I could not ask for (which is not to say they are perfect!). They know with absolute certainty that I will always put them first and because of that they are secure and happy, though very cynical about relationships. Ex twunt is the loser in this.

NoToast Thu 05-Jan-17 21:15:11

Mummy your children sound lovely and a credit to you. I think children really benefit from seeing their parents as humans that sometimes feel down or worried. It means they can share their fears too.

Hope you're feeling better today smile

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