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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

To breastfeed or not to breastfeed

21 replies

toomanylols · 02/01/2017 22:16

Hi ladies.

I'm gonna try make this as short as possible. Here are my details:

35 weeks pregnant with a 21 month daughter

Broke up with partner in August. Been a very stressful time. Have had very little support.

My daughter and I have an amazing bond and I give her so much time and attention that she is glued to me most of the time. Very territorial of me. This makes me nervous about bringing home baby.

I have moved back to my mums got support. I tried to bf my little girl last time but there were complications and I had to formula feed. This time I would love to breastfeed as I loved the experience first time round but I am concerned that as a single parent with her hands already full, that I will be making life hard for myself. My mum could feed the new baby while I have a bit of one on one time with my daughter if I decide to breastfeed. I might be able to get a break on the days my daughter is in crèche. Maybe go for a nap knowing my mam can feed baby when he wakes. All those pro's. I am very nervous about my toddler losing the plot at her once devoted mother sitting under a different baby breastfeeding every few hours.

I am so torn.

Any thoughts? x

OP posts:

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toomanylols · 03/01/2017 06:41

Anyone?!

OP posts:

SprogletsMum · 03/01/2017 06:48

I'd just give it a go, it's not a permanent thing. So if you start breastfeeding and its not working it's easy to switch to formula.
You could also express or use formula for the odd feed if you wanted to it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

spaceyface89 · 03/01/2017 06:55

Hi,

Try give breastfeeding a go and introduce a bottle us in

toomanylols · 03/01/2017 07:05

Ya true I suppose. My 21month old is in for some shock!

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LauraPalmersBodybag · 03/01/2017 07:11

Hi Toomany.... I've ebf my dd and loved it, the downside is that she's always rejected a bottle and doesn't sleep through yet. One year on and I can't really leave her. I've vowed to myself that I'll bf any more babies that we have but also mix feed from early on. Maybe that would work for you?

From what I know, I'd advise you ebf for the first 6 weeks or so in order to allow your supply to establish, maybe express the odd bottle so your mum could do a feed every now and again. When you're ready you could introduce a bottle or two of formula and have your mum do a bedtime once a week too. If you start this early you'll form some patterns that will give you a bit of time and space, either for you or for your dd.

I'd look for a bf group or speak to LLL about the best way to go about things. Good luck, I'm sure you'll be brilliant.

toomanylols · 03/01/2017 07:13

Thank you so much Laura xxx

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pklme · 03/01/2017 07:27

Once established, Breast feeding can be one handed, I have wandered around with baby latched on, made a hot drink, answered the phone, certainly sat reading. With a sling, even easier. So you will be able to snuggle up with DD and read her stories etc. It can become a nice time for you all.
Bottle feeding is more two handed, and requires more organisation. I've done both, and found breast easier. As a pp said, if you start on breast you can always change your mind later.

Somersetlady · 03/01/2017 07:27

Give your 21 month old a doll of her own she will probably pretend to feed with you.

Ive less than a 2 year gap and worked out well for us. Prehaps try the first few weeks for the all important colustrum and take it one day at a time from there.

Dont forget formula is not the only option plenty of people on mn combine feed to give the benefit of breast milk but the ease of formula at other feeds.

Good luck and as my doctor said tk me take it one feed at a time as every breast feed the baby gets is a bonus!

kippersandcurtains · 03/01/2017 07:36

I have a 17 month gap and used to prepare a b/feeding 'station' that had everything I needed close to hand. This included books to read to dc1, snacks, drink, remote for tv etc. So dc1 got accustomed to me feeding his brother and could come for a cuddle/quiet time if he wanted. He also became good at playing independently near us with his cars etc. I am doing it all again now with newborn dc3 - it is entirely possible and children adapt quickly.

toomanylols · 03/01/2017 07:46

Thanks ladies. You've inspired me that it is possible and I will give it a go. Thanks so much. And I love the tips! Anyone got anymore keep them coming! xxx

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toomanylols · 03/01/2017 08:17

Also, can anyone recommend a good sling to bf in? I have the ama wrap, would that do?

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fitzbilly · 03/01/2017 08:38

If you want the easiest option then you should choose breastfeeding. As someone else said, you need two hands to bottle feed, you also need to sterilise bottles, make up the formula, buy the formula...

If you want your mum to help you can express, or you can combination feed one breastfeeding is established.

fitzbilly · 03/01/2017 08:40

X posted, glad you're going to give it a go!

I have a wrap sling (like the moby but not a brand one) and I could breastfeed in that when Ds was newborn up to about six weeks. Now i just beat feed one handed as he is older.

SciFiFan2015 · 03/01/2017 08:55

I once BF my DD in a sling at a museum while I had my DS on my shoulders!
So with the right sling for you BFing can be no hands! Is there a sling library near you?
Good luck whatever happens.

toomanylols · 03/01/2017 10:22

Thanks ladies xxx

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LauraPalmersBodybag · 03/01/2017 11:13

Stretchy slings are great for when they are tiny and I know lots of people who bf in buckle type slings - ergo, lillebaby, connecta, tula etc... with some of these you'll need an inset for babies under 4 months which might be a bit of a pita.

You could look at Lillebaby or Ergo adapt. I'd also recommend finding your local sling library ad they're invaluable and it's great to test drive different types.

pklme · 03/01/2017 22:14

I lived in a country where people just tied sarongs on, so I did that. You need to get the knot secure and in the right place, spread the sarong out at the shoulder and top of the arm. Settle baby into the hammock part.

Be careful with slings- baby can get too warm and snug and find it hard to breath. Always be aware of how long they have been in, where they are positioned etc. I didn't use mine to carry DS for long, just for getting on off buses, to have both hands available to eat, to feed while doing other things occasionally.

SeahorsesSwim · 04/01/2017 06:13

I had similar to you, dc aged 3 and new baby. I bf for a year as once established I could easily latch on baby and use my free arm to cuddle or read a book with older dd.

Making up a bottle would've been much more time consuming! Try bf if you want to, I found it easier and plan for the first couple of months being really busy with baby regardless of how you feed. Older dd can help getting nappies, wipes etc and baby soon grows and becomes less hard work!

My older dd is still very close to me and baby is 18 months now. Be prepared for some transitioning when she gets used to new baby. Good luck!

Wheresthecoff33 · 11/01/2017 22:21

Totally give it a go!
I'm a single mother of 3 under 5 and DD2 is EBF. She is 3 months old and refuses a bottle and dummy, but as previous posters have said, you can do it either hands free or one handed :) Granted she eats every 1.5 hours if not more during the day, but there's no having to make up bottles etc, and I still have a free hand to entertain my other children, can't do that with a bottle :)

I'd definitely recommend introducing some expressed BM once your supply is established, I obviously left that too late x

Starlight2345 · 12/01/2017 21:47

I don't know if you have one but we have a sling library near us..It might be worth looking up.
I B/f my DS although I was with ex for first10 months he did nothing. At first I had to express and found all the washing and sterilising bottles and pump parts so much hassle far easier when I just b/f. ..

Good luck no matter what you decide.

Marzipants · 12/01/2017 21:56

I'd also give bf a go. My middle DC used to enjoy me bf'ing his little sister because it was our time for a cuddle and a story (oh, alright - watch Paw Patrol). Neither of them were jealous about me feeding the baby, but I did get very good about doing stuff (getting toys, opening doors etc) so I wasn't incapacitated while feeding. It's also handy if the baby needs a feed while you're in the middle of an activity, you don't have to stop what you're doing. Particularly useful during bath time!

Good luck! My oldest two have that same age gap and now (4 and almost 6) they're so close, it's a joy to see.

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