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Does father get a say in christening?

(12 Posts)
toomanylols Sat 31-Dec-16 21:49:16

Hey gals,

What a thing to be posting on NYE!! My partner and I recently split. We have a 21 month old daughter and I'm 35 weeks pregnant with our son. We parted back in August. It's been pretty terrible. Lots of bad blood. I got the courage to end things as he was extremely emotionally and verbally abusive. He didn't take it well.

I am from and live in Ireland. He is from England and lives here in Ireland. He is an atheist, as are his family. I am Catholic as are the majority of Ireland. We christened my little one. I chose my sister as godmother, he asked a guy who lives in Australia to be godfather which I thought was completely ridiculous. In the end the guy backed out and he asked a guy who lives 3 hours away who never sees my daughter now because of the distance.

He has been completely unsupportive to this pregnancy. We agreed to go private with my obstetrician this time as I had complications last time, however once we split he refused to pay a penny. He doesn't attend appointments. He doesn't ask. He does see my daughter. I facilitate him all the time. However I recieve a text from him tonight telling me he is asking a friend from the U.K. to be godfather. Do any of you ladies know if he has any legal right to chose a godparent? I think it's ridiculous to firstly choose a godparent from another country, and secondly, I wasn't planning on including him in the christening at all as he isn't religious and it would be so awkward as none of us talk. I won't be having a party. It will purely be a ceremony for my immediate family.

Any thoughts?

Toddlerteaplease Sat 31-Dec-16 22:03:25

God parents have absolutely no legal status what ever. The priest doing the baptism course should explain the role of the god parent.

toomanylols Sat 31-Dec-16 22:22:26

I've probably not been that clear in my post. What I'm asking is that, while I know godparents have no legal standing, can my partner insist that he is choosing a godparent for our son? As I was just going to choose my brother and sister. He isn't religious and he wants to choose someone from another country. I think he wants to exercise control more than anything.

Toddlerteaplease Sat 31-Dec-16 22:34:49

I doubt he can insist on it. At least one needs to be Catholic though so could you use that excuse. Again, speak to the priest.

cansu Sat 31-Dec-16 22:40:53

Tell him he isn't invited or more simply be vague about the date, have christening without telling him.

llangennith Sat 31-Dec-16 22:42:36

As pp said, keep the christening private, don't tell him the date and don't invite him.

NameSux Sat 31-Dec-16 22:44:27

I thought both had to be Catholic. Speak to the priest. I know some would try to accommodate and other who wouldn't let him in the door as an atheist.

toomanylols Sat 31-Dec-16 22:45:49

Thank you ladies x

Starlight2345 Sun 01-Jan-17 21:04:40

I got my DS christened when he was 7.. C of e... I did speak to vicar . MY DS's dad had no contact since he was 3..I Was aware despite my ex having no contact does have parental responsibility.. She basically asked if there was a likely hood he would turn up..I said no and she proceeded with no documentation of his name.

However I would speak to the priest in your situation.

toomanylols Sun 01-Jan-17 21:52:09

Thank you starlight x

pklme Sun 01-Jan-17 21:54:15

You can have extra godparents- so a useless one won't matter, as you are still providing your ones as well.

notangelinajolie Sun 01-Jan-17 21:59:38

Doesn't matter who he picks, you can pick as many as you like. So a God Parent currently living on the other side if the world won't make the slightest difference to anything.

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