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Feel awful! Shouted at my daughter today about three times and swore...

(9 Posts)
theghostofchristmaspresent Thu 15-Dec-16 20:38:45

I am a lone parent in desperate need of a break. DD's dad is inconsistent & I rarely get 'me time'. This afternoon I was exhausted & the house was a top. Asked DD to watch telly while I tidied (she's 4). She was constantly saying 'mummy ' & I snapped & yelled at her. Then later when she wouldn't eat her peas. And again & said FFS! I have BAD PMT & am shattered. DD looked terrified & are all her peas & looked scared! This never happens. We get on great.
Feel so shit about it. Said I was sorry at bedtime & have a lovely afternoon planned for us tomorrow.
Anyone else ever exploded like this?

theghostofchristmaspresent Thu 15-Dec-16 20:40:13

House is a TIP not a Top. Ate all her peas not are..... Obvious I know but I'm a sad pedant wink

charlybear7 Thu 15-Dec-16 21:26:41

Yep!!

I have a 6 year old son who is as good as gold and an 18 month old very cheeky son who is a handful!

I too get very little 'me time' due to their father working away and not seeing them a great deal. I enjoy going to work for a break and I'm a nurse and notvthe kind of job to have it easy!!

So yes the times I shout I feel totally awful and hate myself for it. The time that sticks in my head was about 6 months ago.... I just got both boys out the bath, thought I'd let my baby go nappy free for 5 mins literally! Big mistake!! After 30 seconds of taking my eye off him, he'd poo'd and crawled in it!!! So then I shouted!!!

All I can say is it's totally normal to loose it every so often and mummy can't be happy and in control 100% of the time!

Big hugs x

ThisIsNotARealAvo Thu 15-Dec-16 21:32:24

This totally happens and although it's a horrible feeling I think children need to understand that parents have a limit, and that their behaviour is going to impact other people sometimes. My children push me to the very edge sometimes and I have also shouted and sworn, but we always talk about it afterwards and I tell them that I lost my temper and it happens.

BratFarrarsPony Thu 15-Dec-16 21:33:45

it was not your finest moment but just try and make sure you have a better day tomorrow....
you could apologise as well.

BratFarrarsPony Thu 15-Dec-16 21:34:33

oh god i sounded really judgy - not my intention at all...being a lone parent is so hard you have my full empathy, I was there too and used to get shouty. xx

ninenicknames Thu 15-Dec-16 21:42:26

Yep! Fully lone parent here.

I've snapped & hated myself for days sad

If you didn't feel bad then you'd be crap, but you're out here saying it so all is good.

I do say Mummy is sorry for being cross, sometimes we all get cross (DS spends his life livid at everything) but let's forget it and move on

It's tough, lone parenting, working, sleeping, housework, social life (total myth!)

You sound like you're doing a sterling Job OP.

And yes we are allowed to get cross, it's an emotion that we will all feel at some point.

Impressed on the peas, we had a pea gagging incident at tea today!

Next step carrots or maybe broccoli!?! hmm

everythingis Thu 15-Dec-16 22:00:22

Yes! I'm not a lp any more but ibwas for a long time from when dd1 was 2 and dd2 was newborn.

I still lose my rag now when things get on top of me. I'm only human. I have found it helps to figure out some self preservation tactics to get you through the most triggering behaviour without swearing at them. For example I'm the most irritable when I'm driving - I can't stand the kids squawking when I'm trying to park or whatever. We have a rule now - if mummy says 'can I have 5 minutes' they have to stop making any noise at all no talking rustling or anything. I will resort to stopping the car altogether if they won't comply. They do eventually and all it takes is a few moments of silence for me to compose myself and I end up saying 'thank you for being quiet that was very helpful' about 2 minutes later. I hope that made sense.

I think the best way to deal with it is to acknowledge your own behaviour. Like this 'mummy got really cross earlier on because of blah. I'm sorry I shouted at you it was just very stressful'

Also you can't praise good behaviour enough. Tell them right away it was so helpful they put their shoes on without being told to (50 times)

BlackeyedSusan Fri 16-Dec-16 18:33:15

only three times, wow. blush

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