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Feeling guilty sons dad still not been in contact

(6 Posts)
SEFx Sun 11-Dec-16 00:36:11

I had my little boy last week his dad hasn't spoke to me throughout the whole of my pregnancy so god knows why I expected him to change. I've sent him photos and no reply he's loved up with his new girlfriend now so he's pretending he doesn't exist.
Every time I look into my sons eyes I feel this guilt I keep apologising and telling him I'm sorry that I didn't choose the right man to be his dad. I feel awful I want him to have the best and there's nothing I can do about it. someone please tell me this gets easier sad

Littlelostdinosaur Sun 11-Dec-16 00:43:33

I have no advice but you are a wonderful mum for even having those feelings and it is clear you will be everything your son needs in his life. IF his father isn't interested then That is his loss and your son will grow up to see what a strong woman you are to raise him without the selfish man who donated his sperm as a poor example of a man.

Enjoy your time with your new baby, it goes so fast and yes, the rest of it does get easier!

Congratulations. X

girlelephant Sun 11-Dec-16 00:49:41

You sound like a wonderful Mum and lots of poor children don't get one great parent so you're son is lucky to have you!

Just give him all the love you can. Your ex may realise what he's missing out on and take on his responsibilities but maybe he won't. Right now your baby only needs you so if your ex changes that's a bonus. If you've made contact to let him know the news I wouldn't do anything further as it sounds like it's only disappointing you.

Congratulations and try to focus on happiness right now (while remembering your hormones will be all over the place!). A healthy gorgeous baby is the best Christmas present you could ever have.

DisneySenior Sun 11-Dec-16 01:00:17

You are a strong and wonderful woman who will be all your son needs.

I was in the same situation 8 years ago, he dissappeared when I fell pregnant and has never seen dd or been in touch. He moved away and I have never heard from him since.

I felt the guilt too. I used to cry and cry and think I was an awful mum because she didn't have a dad. I sent photos and messages but got no reply. Eventually I stopped trying to contact him and accepted that he wasn't interested. It's absolutely his loss and if he can ignore his own child it shows what a prick he really is. He will never be truly happy because any decent honest woman would run a mile from a twat like him. He is the one missing out and your ds will understand that in the future. My prick never turned up to sign the birth certificate so I know one day I will need to explain and it hurts, it's difficult to accept but your ds has you who clearly adores him and that will be enough.


Starlight2345 Sun 11-Dec-16 22:24:47

I have been on my own with my DS almost since the beginning .

I have done it on my own..Focus on that gorgeous bundle..

If he isn't interested easier now than later...My DS now 9 ... Has struggled but the fact that he doesn't had a dad for a while but now he understands he was a baby so nothing he did could change it...It helped.

It really is his loss he doesn't get to bond in the begining..Enjoy your little one..Leave him to it ..Oh do get in touch with CMS.. he is legally required to pay no matter what he thinks

VerytiredbutVerynice2016 Mon 19-Dec-16 22:19:01

Definitely get in touch with the CMS. I waited 5 years before getting in touch with them and now really regret not getting what my son was legally entitled to before then!

The guilt is hard to deal with but you'll get there. Be strong, do things your way and enjoy it all!

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