This will be long, so please bear with me.
Background:
I met my youngest daughter's father when the oldest was two years old. He and his family took her on as their own.
When youngest daughter was born, Ex-H became abusive and controlling. Eventually, this abuse started being directed at the oldest child and we left.
He now sees only the youngest (who is 8 and a half).
This weekend, youngest was invited to a family gathering with him. Oldest was not.
Youngest took oldest's i-pod charger with her. She'd broken her own and they'd been sharing oldests. Youngest had been told not to take the charger, but took it anyway.
Oldest, who is 13, sent her a message about this.
There was the usual sibling squabbling along the lines of "If you get a new charger, I will cut it up." "Well I will tear up all your posters if you do that" "Do it I will tear up your head" etc. Usual kids stuff, not desirable but not especially worrying.
Then it took a turn for the nasty from youngest's side. Messages that stand out as particularly nasty are -
You are just jealous because I am here having a good time with my FAMILY (her emphasis), enjoying good food and you're just laid on the sofa watching anime like the friendless saddo you really are
and
You're the worst sister ever. You are a fat, ugly monster and everyone hates you. I wish you had never been born, you fat, ugly loser!!!! I've tried multiple times to be nice to you because you are my HALF sister, but you're just a horrible, horrible person, you moddy cow. Just DIE already.
I'm supposed to believe that an 8 year old with mild learning difficulties wrote this
Oldest has an eating disorder, anxiety and depression and recieves treatment for this.
She eventually responded by threatening self harm. At which point I noticed her mood and investigated, found the messages and took her device away.
It took youngest three hours to alert an adult to oldest's threats.
I contacted Ex-H about it, who focused on oldest threatening to cut up youngest's charger The device was not removed from youngest, nor was the gifted charger (she broke oldest's while she was there) removed from her. She was told by one of Ex-H's family that she does not have to share this charger and oldest is not allowed to touch it.
As a result of this, I believe contact is no longer in her best interests.
Am I within my rights to stop it? There is no court order in place.
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Stopping contact - where would I stand?
10 replies
LostMySanityCanIBorrowYours · 05/12/2016 11:31
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