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Am I wrong?

(6 Posts)
FTMum2016 Mon 28-Nov-16 18:41:13

My DD is nearly 5 months. Ex left me when I was 23 weeks pregnant after walking out on me after scans etc. He wasn't involved in pregnancy after we split, wasn't at birth as had problems and ended up having section. At 2 days old he asked could he take her to his family without me, when I refused due to breastfeeding and being terrified of being away from my newborn he threatened court etc. He comes to my house to see her twice a week and has started taking her to his mums for a couple of hours on a Saturday. One Saturday DD came home soaking because he hadn't changed her nappy and I texted him asking to just check in future. Still never changed a nappy. This week she's teething so is dribbling and has nappy rash. When he picked her up I asked him to change her bib and nappy if either were wet. When I picked her up she still had the same bib on and nappy. I'm at my wits end with it and I'm on the verge of saying that he can't take her until he proves he can look after her. I'm happy for him to see her at mine and I've never stopped him seeing her but it's not fair on her as he isn't looking after her. Also, he takes her during nap time and doesn't let her sleep because he wants to play with her and show her off which means I have a very cranky baby on a Saturday night, Just need some advise on how to move forward.

OldSaintKnickerless Tue 29-Nov-16 10:45:56

I would tell him that he can't see her without you being present for the reasons given in your OP. He can take it to court if he wants but they're unlikely to allow him unsupervised access to a small baby that he isn't properly caring for.

OldSaintKnickerless Tue 29-Nov-16 10:48:30

Oh, also if she has set nap times then tell him when these are and let him know that he can't visit during these times because it isn't fair on her to have her sleep disturbed and you're the one having to deal with an overtired baby for the rest of the day. Be firm with him, your baby being cared for properly is the priority here.

Good luck with it all.

JMKid Tue 29-Nov-16 20:47:04

Please make sure you keep a diary of everything plus all text messages. If it does go to court you will need evidence.

whattodoforthebest2 Tue 29-Nov-16 21:00:31

Does he know how to change a nappy? It's worth asking and telling him you'll show him how to do it properly, but she'll be wearing nappies for another 2 years and so he'd better get used to doing it, otherwise he won't be able to take her. Maybe he's shy or embarrassed to ask, so put him straight.

FTMum2016 Tue 29-Nov-16 22:15:15

He knows how to change a nappy, he has changed a couple when she was a few weeks old.

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