Anxious mum

[charlenemumtothree]

Posted my first post on wrong bit but here goes 4 years ago left my abusive marriage and moved away with my kids . Always kept up contact with kids dad as kids need both parents . However 7 months ago my middle child moved out to live with his dad I believe because I was putting boundaries in place and his dad was telling him to do as he wanted and ignore me making him the favourable parent my sons behaviour got quite bad and then he left. Anyway at weekend he said wanted to come back and his dad wasn't looking after him properly so said to him he's more than welcome to stay and he'd be safe and well looked after and that I loved him. I then sorted a new school and came back from work yesterday to him saying was going back to his dad's so I said ok cannot stop him that would be wrong. But today I've done nothing but lie in bed and cry feel absolutely heartbroken as miss him so much know need to get strong again as have my little boy to care for but could just lie here for however long because feel crushed would give anything for my son to be back at home