Just that. I feel like i am not doing well enough.
Im running on auto pilot and not getting much enjoyment out of my life atm, im exhausted.
I feel like this is having a negative affect on my dc age 6, its like the lights are on but nobody is home.
Im rushing about in the morning so that we are not late for school/ work, dc will chat away in the car or you know there will be one complaint or another (doesnt really like school). My head is in another place as ive recently came out of an ea relationship/ was used and had the piss taken out of me by a narcissist (no im not using that term lightly) and im really trying to hide the effects this has had on my emotional wellbeing/mental stability.
The man in question was never introduced to my dc.
I drag myself around this house trying to make sure it is kept clean and tidy, my dc uniforms ironed for the week ahead and laid out every night. Dc is well fed but is very picky so a lot of the time will waste food and then ask for more later at night by that time im really wiped out. I try my best to keep my dc entertained (arty craft things/ cake baking / play areas after school) but as the cold nights have set in im running out of ideas and alot of the time my child is just sitting watching tv or playing on tablet or with toys. I feel bad about this, i think i should be doing more? I try to engage dc in homework but sometimes thats a battle that i dont have the strength to win. Dc is co-sleeping with me every night which is also tiring because of the constant talking (sometimes this goes on until 10.30pm, we go to bed 8ish). I just feel i dont get much me time although that is a lie because i have sat here all day not doing much whilst dc has been at school. I just dont know where im heading with all this? I feel i need to be doing more for my child and engage more, i try so hard but my head is in another place and im trying my best to make sure the very basics are covered -fed-cleaned-clothed-homework. But i wish i could be there more emotionally. I have come a long way getting this toxic man out of my life for good and staying strong, i want to know how other people have coped with this. Is there any supplements i could take that would give me more energy? I must add i have been on my period for 3 months every single day and i think this is also having an impact on my emotions and lack of energy? Any advice will be greatly appreciated. I want the old me back, i want my child to be happy.
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I feel like a shit mum
12 replies
Tiredbutnotyetretired · 21/11/2016 19:01
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