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Anyone calm me down, whilst I feel like I'm screwing up my little girls head?!

(4 Posts)
ohwhatsinausername Wed 02-Nov-16 11:04:18

Urgh, I don't even know where to begin today!

Ever since me and ex split, I've done my best to keep things as happy as possible for the kids. For background, he left me 20 weeks pregnant to pursue a different relationship at the start of this year. Fine, whatever, done with that but understandably at times, it's been hard! My baby even goes for overnight stays as it gives me a break and helps them to bond...that's how bloody amicable I've been with the whole thing!

Last night, ex told me DD1 (nearly 3yo) has said something along the lines of "Daddy, you're naughty, you don't see me anymore" and suggested it must have come from me or my family - I was horrified!

Not for him because I know neither me, nor my family would say this to her...but is it really possible for a child so young to feel like that?! My heart broke, I've tried so hard to make sure they're in each others lives still and she seemed to be coping with it really well!

We've recently moved out of the house we shared together, even though he's been gone for nearly a year...so I've put it down to her meaning that her Daddy doesn't come to collect her anymore etc...or at least that's what I'm hoping.

But today when I went to collect her, she looked so sad, she was awfully quiet, not herself, wouldn't say what was wrong etc. I'm not sure if it's because she was leaving her Daddy or whether she had missed me and didn't want to say or what...but now I'm massively overthinking things and worrying that this has actually affected her more than we've realised and if it has, how the chuff do I explain this to a nearly 3yo in a way she can understand?

ohwhatsinausername Wed 02-Nov-16 11:06:02

Oh and he has them one night a week and EOW, give or take days that he can't do or extra days that he asks for them so there is still a "decent" amount of contact between them.

AdoraBell Wed 02-Nov-16 11:08:53

brew just keep telling her that you love her, lots of hugs etc.

Tell ex to do the same. If both of you concentrate on making her feel secure she will be okay.

ohwhatsinausername Wed 02-Nov-16 11:22:32

Yeah, I will make sure me and ex are both on the same page with how we handle it.

I just can't stop worrying (I'm a worrier anyway!) that maybe she is realising that ex is living with his girlfriend and kids...and feeling like she's coming second a little...but but isn't she too young to be feeling like that at nearly 3?

I don't know what they're like when they're all together, other than they all get on and my DD is well looked after but I wasn't really expecting to cross this bridge until she was a little older tbh? He did say last night they were just gonna have a little quiet evening to themselves in the house?

It could just be a one off but I don't want to ignore it by thinking she's just little, if there is a problem starting. It just seems odd after a year. I just don't know what to think today.

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