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Move in with boyfriend?

(3 Posts)
ivfmoomama Mon 31-Oct-16 15:33:13

First post so be gentle with me smile I live alone with my toddler. I hadn't planned going back to work till she was at school nursery (so next summer), so am in receipt of basic benefits only. My rent etc is quite high so there's a massive shortfall for me to pay, leaving me and DD with £50 a week to live on. My boyfriend (fairly new, although we've known each other for 20 years) is having to leave his flat due to landlord selling up. Although we've chatted about moving in together, we meant in the future. Logical thing now would be for him to move in with me... he spends a lot of time here anyway. Having done all relevant benefit checks it seems his wage is high over the threshold amount so would actually leave us with even less disposable income than what I have just now on my own, as my own benefits would stop. Feel like it would be u fair to him? Any suggestions or ideas for me pls? Not really sure what to do for best xx

TimetohittheroadJack Tue 01-Nov-16 13:14:32

I think you need to talk about what moving in would mean. It would mean your benefits would stop and you would be relying on him to pay the bills, and live together as a couple where essentially you are the SAHM. If your boyfriend thinks moving in means you split the bills and he keeps his own money then it can't work.

It depends on how you both feel about each other. If you are anything but 100% sure that he plans on acting like a family (i.e. His wages support everyone) then I would hold out on allowing him to move in.

LJD2 Wed 02-Nov-16 10:55:58

Hi, I have a similar dilemma. I work PT and live with my 2 children. Been with my boyfriend 2 years and want to move in together, but if he moved in with me, I wouldn't get any benefits so he'd have to pay more towards mortgage/bills than I could, and that he's paying to rent his place right now. So essentially he'd be paying more towards supporting my children than their dad does. I agree with PP that an honest conversation about finances, what you could pay, what he'd need to pay is essential. And also how it would make you both feel, i.e. It taking your independence away/having to rely on his income (which was my main concern) Good luck x

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