Hair cut - feeling cross with myself

[AKP79]

About a year ago my ex returned DS with a really wonky fringe and I asked if he'd cut his hair. He said no and that he'd never do that because my brothers a hairdresser. I think he even went as far as to promise he wouldn't. I thanked him and said I really appreciated it because it meant a lot. I didn't think more of it and assumed my son may have been the culprit for the wonky fringe. A month later at the handuver DS was returned with a new hair style and cut. I was really upset, we'd spoken about my brother cutting it and also he made a promise. I left it there but for the last year he's continued to get DS hair cut. I've just ignored it and let it slide. He knows it upsets me but there's little I can do.

However, he has returned yet again with a very short hair cut. In no way did it need cutting and he knew we had a family wedding coming up for which I wouldn't have got it cut myself in a style I liked.

I'm really cross with myself because instead of ignoring it like normal I reacted, which my ex thrives on. I also got cross with my ex in front of my son, which I'm feeling incredibly guilty about. I've explained to DS that I was cross with him and that he looks gorgeous but I was cross with Daddy for not letting me know first.

Had been doing so well recently on 'not sweating the small stuff'. Now I'm just a ball of guilt!

[AKP79]

explained to DS I wasn't*

[BlackeyedSusan]

thank ex nicely. tell him he is saving you so much money and stress as your brother is so busy and you always get him a thankyou gift.

see if that stops him doing it.

[AKP79]

Four months on of biting my tongue and smiling with DS being returned with his haircut with terrible styles and it's still happening. This time my darling DS returned with it virtually shaved off all over. He loves spiking his hair with gel for parties etc, there's nothing there to spike. I keep smiling, telling DS he looks gorgeous and ignoring the ex, but I'm starting to wonder if he'll ever get bored of this - I'm convinced it's some kind of control/power trip as it was obvious DS had only recently had a haircut at home (a week prior to visiting his dad).

[SleepFreeZone]

I just can see what you can do about this unfortunately. You are going to somehow have to let it go

[AKP79]

Yep, think you're right. He's using DS to get at me, which is why I have refused to react since my 1st post in Oct. Think I just needed to get it out there and off my chest. I just need to continue to ignore this petty behaviour - not easy sometimes though!

[TimidLividyetagain]

Go the opposite way say how glad u are u will stop spending money on haircuts and he looks great. Just show not one piece of upset or sadness. Don't let him have the satisfaction of thinking it bothers you. U are doing well to stay calm.

[AKP79]

Good advice thank you. A bit of reverse psychology might do the trick!..