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Ex wants what I call minimal contact

(6 Posts)
Chaseley Tue 25-Oct-16 18:58:20

So I am expecting my first baby in April 2017, myself and the dad have split (not a shock)!
He's told me he will see our child every other weekend. AIBU for being annoyed with this??
He should at least be wanting to see our baby in the week also?

BubbleGumBubble Tue 25-Oct-16 22:11:13

I suppose its difficult as at the moment he has no bond with his child so has no idea how much he will miss him/her.

Agree for now but say we can discuss it again when baby arrives.

KarmaNoMore Thu 27-Oct-16 16:19:05

Agree, discuss when baby arrives. Things may have changed widely by then.

Starlight2345 Thu 27-Oct-16 21:20:56

Do you mean he is going to pop in EOW or take baby... Little and often is what is recommended..However I agree with others..Trying to work this stuff out before the baby is born is pointless..

I would work of maintaining a civil relationship for when baby is born.

Chaseley Sun 30-Oct-16 12:11:38

He's blocked me on everything so contact is a nope!
I guess he'll just be turning up at my house around when the baby is here?
It's hard to be reasonable with someone who is being so childish and unreasonable!
I agree with you guys, I don't even know where il be living when the baby comes so he could be looking for me & may not even find me! Not that I'd hide just I'm not going out of my way to engage in contact with him.

SpotTheDuck Sun 30-Oct-16 12:17:05

Every other weekend is pretty standard for older children, so he may have just picked up on that as an idea of what's normal.

You're right though, for young children that won't work very well and more frequent shorter visits would be best.

You say he's blocked you on everything, so it doesn't sound like an amicable relationship. In those circs, I'd suggest you claim maintenance through the CSA (rather than agreeing anything informal), don't put him on the birth certificate, and let him know that if he wants contact he's going to need to go through court to get something formal agreed. You can of course choose how much contact to allow while the court process happens and in general it looks best if you're seen to be cooperative and trying to facilitate contact.

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