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Thread for your best practical tips on managing this well, and not feeling too guilty about serving up breakfast cereal for lunch occasionally ....or worse !

(6 Posts)
Tinkerbellx Sat 01-Oct-16 11:28:15

So ....I'm single after ending a 25 year relationship 3 years ago .
Feels like a permanent race with too many balls in the air sometimes.
Sometimes I drop one and have a meltdown.
Mostly I keep going and pat myself on the back at what a great job we as a family are all doing .
Exdh is still sulking and an absent father .
I have 4 DC , 23 ( independant ), 20 ( at uni ), 13 and 6 .
I work as a professional in a job which I have to commit to 100% when I'm at work or I'd lose my job and quite possibly someone's life literally .
I'd never taken care of a car before but it's clean and serviced and still going and faithful!
I've somehow managed to keep the house together and even made several improvements !
The DC are mostly fed healthy...ish meals .
I'm not in debt .
We are clean ! Well mostly .
We have food in the fridge, clothes in the airing cupboard and occasionally I manage the homework and reading .

We've done it and I look at them and think , well they really are happy , well adjusted , have great friends are are doing well at school.
People compliment me on them a lot and even though we've cried a lot together we've laughed more and made some fabulous memories .
My son and I have learnt how to do some hilarious things together ( like the time I opened the new lawn mower and a bag of about 100 screws fell out ! So I knocked back a glass of wine and shouted at him that if he could build that bloody Lego ship in THERE he could figure this mower out ! ) and he did bless him .

Anyway ..... Best tips, funny inspirational stories and let's do this.
I have absolutely no family whatsoever to speak of so anything that helps me or others is great .
Here's mine to start of. But I'm sure there's better :

1) freeze and label lots ! Whenever I make stews, soups ect I double it, bag it, label it and freeze it . Great for those week nights getting in at 6.30 with 1hr to feed wash homework and bed.
2) make sandwiches on a Sunday night and freeze for the whole week . Cheese sandwiches freeze fine !
3) make enormous tray of flapjack with value butter to make and cut into portions, wrap in foil and freeze . Great for snacks at school and lasts ages .
4) realise it's ok to eat junk when necessary if an early night is more important !
5) I make sure we get out walking most Sunday's . It's free , good for all of us .
6) Learn to say no . No explanation required .
7) learn to say yes please Real friends mean it .
8) Sleep .... I get into bed at midnight and up at 6 all week every week . I'm shattered and often feel a mess. So going to bed early when pos with the kids after a chippy tea and a glass if wine sometimes is needed !
9) Have lots of school uniform and everything out the night before .
10) Write lists .I found everything overwhelming to start with so have learnt to just do one thing at a time and eventually you get the result , or something like it !

MakeItRain Tue 04-Oct-16 00:41:14

I love your post!! I feel pleased we're all clean(ish) and fed too!!
I find online shopping a godsend (or click and collect - free)
If you can afford a cleaner for any time at all that's great too if you work long hours. Means I don't spend half the weekend cleaning any more. We're not loaded, but I scrimp on buying anything for myself to pay for it.
National trust membership is good and not too expensive for what then work out to be cheap days out.
Build up friendships. Get togethers with friends can be low cost happy days out.
Spend a bit of time every so often remembering how crap life used to be with an awful ex and smile about how peaceful and simple it is now. (Or is that just me!)
Agree with the sleep thing. I spent all night working, and now chilling on mumsnet. Up at half 6. I need to make myself switch off earlier. (Must work on that one)

swingofthings Sat 08-Oct-16 14:01:19

My tip is try to make friends with your kids' friends parents! I was the type of single mum who never dared asking for help. I was the strong, can-do-it-all professional single mum so had no idea about how to go about asking for anything.

Making friend with kid's friends parent meant that they were the ones to offer to look after them, keeping them overnight, taking them to activities (because they did the same ones!), letting now know what happened at school because I never had the chance to go to school events, and who took my kids in their wings when I couldn't (will never forget how one mum told DS that he was her 3rd child for the day during a sport day I couldn't attend, and I was told jump for joy and asked all proud when he won a race!).

I started when they were at nursery, and I am still close friend with most of them even though I am now married and kids are older.

Toffeelatteplease Sat 08-Oct-16 14:04:57

Always keep ibuprofen, paracetamol and a £20 note in the house

megletthesecond Sat 08-Oct-16 14:07:26

Yes to everything you said. We have multiple uniform and work clothes (me), I don't want the pressure of having to wash everything on Tues and weds ready for Thursday.

And batch cook like a woman possessed. I even make cookie dough , freeze in dollops on tub lids / ice cream lids etc then bag up ready to cook when needed. I saw Nigella do it once. <<smug>>

BlackeyedSusan Sat 08-Oct-16 18:04:34

oh hark at you...


I consider it a success if no-one dies and no-one ends up in hospital! blush

it would be fucking easier if fucking school just put the fucking support in that they promised and make reasonable adjustments for disability. thhen I would not have had to spend ages sorting all that crap out.


great list though.

beans on wholemeal toast is a complete meal.

capital letters are superfluous

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