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"what do u do for work?"

(10 Posts)
camichung Thu 22-Sep-16 00:16:15

I've been single since May and I'm thinking of starting to date again, although I hate the question so "what do you do for work?"

Before I become single I completely relied on ex partner then when he left had to claim income support, I was looking into putting dc who has just turned 2 into nursery but turns out I'm not entitled to the 16 free hours until January. I'm desperate to start work and have only ever completed my first year of hairdressing before getting pregnantblush

So I guess what I'm asking is those that are claiming benefits what do you say when people ask what you do for a living?

Somerville Thu 22-Sep-16 00:26:21

In that situation I would say 'I'm a stay at home mum at the moment but in a few months I'm resuming my hairdressing training/ starting a new job."

This isn't a dig at all, but if you have free evenings to date, could you look at whether there is an evening course one night a week that interests you and boosts your CV?

JenLindleyShitMom Thu 22-Sep-16 00:31:58

OP depending on your area you could get childcare paid for you if you go back to college to do your hairdressing course ful time. It's possibly still early enough to get a place on a course (some people don't take up their place and others drop out within days of starting. In your shoes I would get onto your local college in the morning and asking if their are any places. Also get Info on closing dates for student finance applications.

ravenjoy Thu 22-Sep-16 10:33:25

If you want to date do it and just say you're a stay at home mum. A lot of men are scared of single mums because they are scared they'll have to financially take care of someone else's kids. If you mee the right one and show him you're not going to use him, he shouldn't care what you do.
People are gonna judge You for everything as a single mum so you have to learn not to care.

camichung Thu 22-Sep-16 18:05:28

Thanks for the advice.

I haven't got free evenings as in to actually go out yet I only mean to text someone at the moment, my only child free time is on the weekend. But I am going to look at doing an online course and see if I see anything on there. Just knowing which are actually credited?

JenLindleyShitMom Thu 22-Sep-16 18:14:51

An online hairdressing course? My sure how that would be possible.

Somerville Thu 22-Sep-16 18:35:18

Something that is convenient to learn from home and fits in with hairdressing (assuming that's still what you want to do next) might be an admin course. The junior stylists at the salon I go to seem to spend half their time answering phone all and emails and managing all the diaries. So a course like that could put you ahead of the rest of the pack when it come to finding a job. And will definitely come in useful if you own your own salon one day. smile
Studying is hard as a parent to a little one and working is hard as a lone parent (I've done both) and you'll be combining both in the future. But another way to look at that is a huge opportunity to make of your life what you want, and that means investing the time to study/working you way up now, ready for the pay off when you are qualified and experienced in what you want to do.
What do you want to do? Dream scenario of how you spend each day 5 years from now?

camichung Thu 22-Sep-16 22:01:04

Sorry forgot to mention I don't want to continue with the hairdressing. I have been thinking of going into social work for a while, once little one is in nursery I was thinking of starting an access course and going from there but now I've split from partner I think I'd rather just get straight to work. There are courses on wowcher I'm interested in that cost next to nothing but I'm just not sure they count for anything once completed hmm

JenLindleyShitMom Thu 22-Sep-16 22:31:39

My best advice to you is that if you want to retrain/do an access course is to do it now full time while your DC is so young and can be in day care.

It's seriously so much harder trying to do it once they're in school. (I've done it!) I wish I had done it when they were younger when they went to bed at 7pm, had no homework, no after school activities, no play dates, no school plays, no projects etc. Babies are so much easier to fit in studying around. Seriously. And like I said, you could be entitled to have all your childcare and course fees paid! I did an access course 2 years ago. It was fully funded and my childcare was paid for from further education award. Ring your local college and find out what your options are for an access course and contact student finance to find out about what you would get towards childcare costs. It's two phone calls. That's got to be worth doing?

1DAD2KIDS Fri 30-Sep-16 18:25:47

Most of all its important to start from a position of truth. So just tell the truth, your a stay at home mum. Unfortunately it may put some men off but it is how it is, the truth. At the end of the day we all want someone who wants you for who you are, not who your not.

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