First Post ...... eeeeek! Just found out I'm going to be a single mum!

(5 Posts)
user1472389466 Sun 28-Aug-16 14:31:46

Hi everyone,
This is my first post so please be gentle .... I haven't learnt all the acronyms yet! :-)
I'm 11 weeks pregnant and since finding out I was pregnant my OH has shown no interest in the pregnancy or me and having pushed him as to why the upshot is he doesn't want us living together to bring up the child.
He already has an 11 year old daughter and we used to all live together but we argued a lot and as it was effecting the daughter I moved out. We still carried on seeing each other and he would be at mine whenever he didn't have her.
He always knew I wanted to be a mum, I have had early 2mc with him and this is the third pregnancy. All seems to be going well. I've had 2 scans, both fine. So this wasn't a shock to him but he really has backed away since telling him the news.
After pushing him he has told me his family do not want to have me living in the same house as his daughter so essentially I would be a single mum. He has 2 sisters and a mum who live locally. His ex wife is best friends with the sisters and she is still very much part of the family so their priority is always her and he listens to anything they say.
I'm currently in Reading and he is in Newbury. I am living in a shared house at the moment, am not working as was due to start a PGCE this year so have been getting in work experience. I have only a few friends and no family around me so I'm absolutely petrified!!!! I wasn't intending on things being this way.
Any advice anyone could give on housing, child care, etc would be amazing! xx

JenLindleyShitMom Sun 28-Aug-16 14:34:04

Wow! That was nice of him to wait until you were pregnant before telling you this! hmm what an asshole. thanks for you OP. I'm a single mum, hard but good too. Ups and downs like all families. You'll be fine. You'll do your beast like everyone else.

user1472389466 Sun 28-Aug-16 14:40:36

Thanks Jen! I've wanted this baby so much ..... I'll be 43 in a couple of weeks so it'll be doubly tough I'm sure! smile

ittooshallpass Sun 28-Aug-16 15:56:21

I had my baby at 42... similar situation to you except we did try to make it work. It didn't. I just had the first few years of my DDs life ruined by a passive aggressive, gas lighting cocklodger!

In hindsight I should have gone it alone from day 1... so... congratulations on your pregnancy. Enjoy every second of your much-wanted baby. You'll be fine. So much easier when you don't have to look after a man-child too!

Fairy45 Sun 28-Aug-16 21:48:37

Cut him off now. I was similar i kept thinkin when baby comes he will change. He lasted til she was 10 days old then kicked me out.
Hes a complete and utter dick who i wish i had never met and i wonder to myself everyday why the hell i ever stayed with him. Grrrr.
You will be fine on your own its so rewarding and its only your influence. Id say 95% of the time i love it.

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