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DD still struggling with the divorce...

(9 Posts)
summerwithyou Tue 23-Aug-16 09:59:05

It's been a little over a year since EXH moved out and we got divorced. He has the DC every other weekend (can't do more as he works away a lot). Eldest DC (7) is still really struggling with being apart from her dad and her behaviour is deteriorating (backchatting, language becoming more babyish etc). I encourage her to ring him whenever she misses him but it's reaching the point where she's waking in the night and wanting to speak to him. He's happy to speak to her whenever she wants which is good. I don't really know what to do or how to improve things for her. Any advice?

Missgraeme Tue 23-Aug-16 10:02:29

How about she keeps a diary? She can keep a record of everything she does through the week and use it to have a good catch up with dad!

summerwithyou Tue 23-Aug-16 10:07:15

I think its his prescense and the sound of his voice that she misses most though missgraeme, although I think I might suggest a diary anyway as she might like that.

GettingScaredNow Tue 23-Aug-16 10:09:59

Watching with interest as I'm 7 weeks since exh moved out and 4 yr Dd is struggling a bit.

flowers for you and your Dd.
Mine keeps asking if daddy can come for sleep overs sad

summerwithyou Tue 23-Aug-16 10:12:55

It's very tough isn't it getting, I was hoping it would be getting easier by now and it isn't. If anything it's harder now than it was at the beginning of the split. sad

SharonfromEON Tue 23-Aug-16 21:43:55

Just a suggestion but maybe more structure might help..

Maybe phone contact twice a week at 6pm ( for example)
Would skype be an option..

I am thinking then she knows when she is going to talk to him..

I discourage any conversation after bedtime.

Can I also say something else ..My Ds ( who hasn't seen dad since 3) used to ask questions about his dad at bedtime... I realised this was simply a delay tactic and I would tell him I would talk about it in the morning and he wasn't bother..

Just saying it may not be the way it is.

Also is it marked on the calendar when she is seeing his dad ..At least he can see when it is.

Lonecatwithkitten Wed 24-Aug-16 08:30:52

I think a year is still a very short time. I would say it took at least three years for my DD to get used to it. No special solutions just talking, being consistent and just being there.

summerwithyou Wed 24-Aug-16 10:24:11

Thanks both. I have thought about how maybe structuring it might help, so there is consistency. It's just very difficult when she's crying for him and wanting to speak to him right at that moment.

Fourormore Wed 24-Aug-16 14:53:00

I agree with lonecat - a year is still early days.
You could approach your GP and see if there are any services in your area that help children experiencing loss. Often services that help children through bereavements also provide support for children whose parents have divorced.

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