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My exs partner has put a picture up on social media of my kids

(11 Posts)
Louw12345 Fri 05-Aug-16 18:36:17

Ok yes I have just cried my eyes. I think I'm just getting used to the fact that they are spending time with another women as a mother figure.
But she was with my ex for months while he stopped seeing his kids to spend time with her. And now they are both ready they want to be in their lives.
They spent all Friday and Saturday together and now she's posTed a pic saying family time. Bear in mind contact for them and her only started last week.
Why am I upset. Surely it's too early and she shouldn't be postin pics of my kids. But on the other hand I should be happy she likes them
Omg my anxiety is going threw the roof. I want to say it's wrong but I don't want to upset her.
P

proudnewMNaddict Fri 05-Aug-16 18:46:44

You have every right to be upset if your ex put her needs before his DC - in my opinion she's doing it for a rise out of you and will drop your children like a sack of shit when she doesn't get one sad

Lullabullacoo Fri 05-Aug-16 18:54:47

That will feel awful - I totally understand. I have anxiety too and an ex-h who wanted to play happy families when new Gf came around. It felt horrendous when they came back saying they'd met daddy's new friend.
Are you on good enough terms to ask him to lay off on the FB posts until the children have known her longer? Explain that it feels uncomfortable for you just now as the changes in contact are so recent ? That worked for me. I called once I had calmed down & could communicate sensibly smile
Your children will never stop thinking of you as the most important person in their lives, however well they may get along in the future. She is not their mum and never will be. I had a great relationship with my step daughter but when she was ill, she only wanted her own mum. Quite rightly too and I took her straight to her!
Maybe see if you could meet her, if you haven't, and that will make it easier. Best of luck & I hope you feel better soon.

mumofthemonsters808 Fri 05-Aug-16 18:59:58

I agree with Rise, she's posting to obtain a reaction and the best reaction is no reaction.Shes also an insensitive bitch for doing this, in these type of situations everyone needs to be mindful of other people's feelings but some people don't give a toss about others and the nasty ones sometimes loose the plot with how low their prepared to go.Dont take her bait.

Hissy Fri 05-Aug-16 19:06:58

Id ask him to ask her to not post pics of your kids on FB. She's more tHan welcome to post pictures of herself. Any kids she has or of him, but not kids who aren't hers.

HappyHedgehog247 Fri 05-Aug-16 19:16:32

Ouch. I'm waiting for this one to happen. Can you take yourself off social media for a bit? It's always harder in summer holidays and Christmas anyway. Xx

MarkRuffaloCrumble Fri 05-Aug-16 19:24:46

It is hard to accept that your DCs are developing relationships with other people which don't include you, especially when those people have been instrumental in causing grief for you and your DCs. flowers

I am guilty of doing this with DP's DCs when we first met. When we had enjoyed a nice time with all the DCs together the temptation to celebrate this meant that I didn't necessarily think about what his ex might feel about seeing her DCs playing happy families elsewhere.

Fwiw, when my DCs spend time with their dad's GF I am actually quite happy about it, I think it's lovely that they have interests in common and enjoy spending time together, but I know many people would find it difficult.

It will get easier, especially if she proves that she is sticking around and isn't going to just bugger off at the first sign of trouble. She can become a loving and caring adult in their lives and if it means their dad is more likely to spend time with them, then that can only be a good thing.

abbsismyhero Fri 05-Aug-16 19:28:30

like the post and ignore it

rise above

Louw12345 Fri 05-Aug-16 19:31:30

@mumofthemonsters808 my mate said the same. Not to rise to it. They are having a good time now but soon enough relaity will hit.
They aren't doing over nights yet just 3 times in two weeks.

Louw12345 Fri 05-Aug-16 19:32:06

I am happy that she's wants to spend time with my kids I really am.

Louw12345 Fri 05-Aug-16 20:34:44

I just think posting a picture about family after spending only one week is abit of a kick in the teeth. Anyway I won't say anything coz there will become a time he has to go through this with me.

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