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How much say can I have on holidays

(3 Posts)
AKP79 Tue 02-Aug-16 14:41:55

I have a very unpleasant and controlling ex. Today is a perfect example. He currently has DS (aged 4) and is away camping in Cornwall. Our pick up and drop off times are always at 4pm and were drawn up by the court as part of a contact order. Last Friday we agreed that he would pick up at 1.30pm instead because they had a couple of hours to travel and in order to get to their campsite and set up. We also agreed that he would drop back at 1.30pm this Friday. On that basis I have made plans for DS friends to come over in the afternoon and to have a BBQ. He has text me today and said that he's basically changed his mind and wont return him until 4pm. I know it's only 2 hours and I totally expected it of him, he's only doing it to be controlling whilst he's got DS.

However, as part of his reply he has said that on the following week he has DS, which starts 12th he will be taking him to France for a week so wants his passport when he drops him off so that he can make the booking and have it for their holiday. Now this is the first I've heard of him going abroad and call me a worrier or whatever, but I am not happy about my DS being taken to France at the moment. I know anything can happen anywhere, but I personally wouldn't go, so to then agree to my DS going doesn't sit well with me.

I don't know how to deal with this... a - emotionally if I do have to just accept it and let him go (this week's been tough enough). b - if I stand my ground and say no.

Any advice?

3xcookedchips Tue 02-Aug-16 17:36:45

Was no provision made for travel abroad in the order?

If not then and you both have PR either parent requires permission from the other to take a child out of the country up to a period of 28 days - so in effect holidays.

You can refuse permission, and if you did he could make an emergency application to court for a Specific Issues Order - permission to go on holiday. This could then get written in to the order.

It is unlikely the court would take your anxieties in to account after all regardless of recent events France is considered a safe country.

By not agreeing you're only delaying the inevitable the added stress

AKP79 Tue 02-Aug-16 22:06:27

Yeah after the shock and general annoyance of him being a control freak by yet again moving goal posts while he has DS (goal posts could be moved a millimetre like today or 10ft) I came to the same conclusion about France.

I'm not happy about it, but I will choose my battles wisely.

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